Monday, July 10, 2006

Rough Weekend

This weekend was really hard. Its so difficult to think about "where we would have been" if I hadn't been so foolish. Instead of having our first weekend at home after our wedding, Marc and I moved the rest of my stuff out to my lonely little cottage. It was quite horrible and very painful and I'm sure that I made Marc feel worse as I cried my way through the process. Today marks the first day that we aren't speaking to each other in a "self-inflicted" hiatus from any relationship with each other. Its an opportunity for us to both step back from the relationship and reevaluate ourselves after this disaster.
I don't know what else to write. I feel like a shell of a person and am dead inside. I was supposed to start marathon training two weeks ago. I can hardly hold down food so I can't seem to conjure up the energy to even walk around the place let alone run. I'm hoping that maybe my appetite will come back, but its not very likely.


Chantelle said...


I know things seem pretty crappy now, but you will heal, you will get better. It won't happen can't. You really have to trust in yourself right now. (Which I'm sure sounds impossibe, but in time you willl realize it's not.)

I firmly believe that things happen for a reason. Whether or not we understand it at the time is the hard part...I've had plenty of bad things happen in the last couple of years. At the time, I never thought that I could or would move on with my life, but I always did...eventually.

The funny thing is that,sometimes, some good did come from a really crummy situation. It might have taken a while to see it, but it was there, my silver lining.

I am not trying to tell you what to do,or tell you how to live your life...that's your job :) I just want to give you some perspective from a third that will always support you, and never knock you down. Unfortunately you've had quite a bit of that here lately. I look forward to seeing you happy again (and you will be).

I really hope this helps.

Take care of yourself.