On a Serious Note-I'll be Funny Again Soon!

There are natural consequences that accompany every choice we make in life. Some opportunities inevitably pass us by, but we can take advantage of others. Many people feel powerless but this is rarely the case--some opportunities just
require a little thinking outside the box. Today, reflect on the doors you are
opening in your world and which ones are closing. You have the power to create
the life you want if you are willing to set goals and take steps toward them.
Rarely does fulfilling our hopes and dreams happen overnight, but daily you can take one tiny move towards them.



I have a question for my readers. Are you still holding on to baggage from your childhood that you know you need to let go? (Or have you held it and finally let it go?) I'm struggling with a lot of pain and guilt for something I never had control over, and I'm finally realizing that letting it go is the only way to truly love and enjoy my life. I guess I'm asking this because I want to know if I'm "normal" and how to get better at getting through the setbacks in life and appreciating the things I have in this moment. Wishing you all a happy Wednesday!!

Quick Blips

• I am not changing the name of my blog, at least not now. I may not live in Lusby at this moment, but darnit, I'm not changing it again. Not yet.
• Not having tv or internet at the cottage is interesting. I really want to watch "Moment of Truth" on Wednesday, but might ask Mircea to Tivo it (since I left the Tivo there b/c it does me no good) I'm actually getting a lot of homework done, plus I have time to journal and read some books.
• I went to see my counselor yesterday and it was a really good experience. I'm going to see her every week for a month to sort of kick start some changes in me, but all in all, I feel pretty good. I've changed a lot in the past several months and having this break from Mircea is helping me to focus on some of the stuff I've let go by the wayside. Getting a lot of that stuff together will help some relationship issues on my side fall in to place and we'll just see how he reacts.
• I find that living alone is the key to my dieting. I'm not even slightly interested in snacks or anything (or maybe its that I don't have tv) and I'm losing weight fairly steadily. I'm also a "Thursday gym rat" as it's my only day that I can afford some gym time.
• Watching my 1st Season dvd of the King of Queens. That show is so funny and I love Kevin James.

I'm So Bleepin' Sick of Moving

Lindsay came down on Friday to act as a catlyst for getting my stuff out of Mircea's house (I hate calling it that because it was OUR home, not just his and it hurts so bad to be leaving.) and we got a lot of the little stuff over to the cottage. On Saturday and Sunday, Mircea and I worked on getting the bigger stuff over there, so I'm all moved in, sans the treadmill, which will make its 3rd move since Ben gave it to me. Ridiculous! This moving in/out, rinse/repeat is getting really old and I just want a place to call my home, that doesn't seem like it will be ripped out from under me at any second.

I am going to refrain from talking about my relationship with Mircea too much because I know that no one really wants to hear about it. Love is great when it is good, and sucks butt when it isn't. Mircea and I have decided to try and continue our relationship from our two different residences, and see if we can work through the issues that we've both been bringing to the table in the past several months. We're just spinning in circles and maybe this will offer some relief. I will also continue working with my counselor-not on relationship matters, but on my low-self esteem and insecurities, which are usually the basis for the problems that I bring into a relationship. So we'll see what happens. In a perfect world, we work through our problems and return to the bliss we used to experience together. The worst case scenario is that we move on from each other and find what we are looking for in a mate-I guess that isn't so bad an option either, but I prefer the former.

Thank you for all being so supportive as I blunder through life, making the same mistakes I've always made and trying so hard not to make them again, though I keep falling into those old, easy habits of insecurity, instead of trusting that man I love and whom loves me.

The Moment of Truth

I have been looking forward to this show since I saw the first preview. I knew that it would be overly-dramatic, overly-commercialized, and just plain over-the-top. But I also knew that it would be fairly intriguing. Mircea and I (I'm moving out this weekend) watched the show together last night and it was definitely interesting.

The premise of the show is that contestants in the "hot seat" have been previously questioned on a lie detector prior to the show. They are then asked 21 of the 50 questions they were asked before in front of a live audience and win money based on if they tell the truth or not. Seems simple enough, but as this is television, the questions aren't as benign as, "did you have a crush on a teacher when you were younger?"

The questions from last night were interesting. The first guy had questions like "Have you ever flirted with a woman on the internet while married to your wife?" (No-True) "Have you ever taken a peak at another man's privates in the locker room?" (Yes-True) The best part of this is that there are three people sitting across from the contestant that are special to him. The first guy had his wife, and then a male and female friend. If he hadn't flubbed on "Do you ever touch people in inappropriate places while training them?" (no, false) I was pretty sure the question was going to come up "Have you ever had sexual thoughts about your female friend-the one sitting next to your wife?" (By the way he was a personal trainer and said that if he had touched anyone inappropriatly it was by accident.)

All in all the show was pretty interesting. We laughed at a lot of the stuff, and I found it a little silly because there were just long drawn out pauses between the questions, answers, and the odd little mystery computer voice saying "True" or "False" from a far-off dreamy world. If I ever get cable at the cottage (it seems like it will take forever and I'll be stuck coming into work on Friday nights to use the Internet for my class) I think I'll definitely be watching that...at least for a couple of weeks.

No More "In Repair"

I got this little blurb in my email inbox today. It really cements the discussion I had with Patty. I know it won't be overnight, but I really do want to get some happiness in my life, and that will have to come from a more positive attitude. I'm sick of being "in repair" and I'm going to change that on my little side quote bar. When I had the more positive stuff, life seemed better, I swear when I changed that, things weren't going as well.

Happiness is a state of mind, not a way of life or a destination that you'll
reach one day. Bumps in the road of life are to be expected, and we cannot
let them ruin our days. We often think that if a combination of factors
would just fall into place THEN we would finally be happy. Satisfaction can
only come from within, through truly accepting yourself, your life, and your
circumstances. During this life you'll have many hard days--long work days,
sleepless nights, worrying about the future, etc. This week, think about the
joys of your life. Find creative ways to enjoy the little bumps in the road.

Dragging On

This day is simply dragging on and I am going insane. I am just miserable sitting here, wishing that Mircea would call and just say, "I'm sorry I said I wanted you to leave, I love you", but that call just isn't coming in. And I'm a fool for wishing/believing that it could happen.

I'm really scared and sad. I'm not just afraid of being alone because it didn't go as badly as I had expected when I moved out from Marc's house. I'm not just afraid of getting my own "stuff" straight, because maybe rekindling my relationship with my therapist isn't such a bad idea. I'm scared because this is so final, and from Mircea's track record, I will not be in his life at all anymore. He wasn't always so great to me, I know, and he's done some nasty things, as well as some passive things that were just ridiculous. But deep down, though I know things haven't been so great lately, things were so good for so long and they always seemed to be getting better, but then they'd tumble down like a house of cards.

I don't want to move out. I want this to just go away and I can go back to my place on the couch with one of the kitties on me and the other one's on their daddy. I want to go back to falling asleep in his arms, even though it was really warm sometimes. I don't want the feelings of insecurity or feeling neglected when he plays his video games, but I wonder if I maybe should have just sucked it up a little bit and been satisfied with the life that we did have together.

I just want this pain to pass. So I want it to be like two weeks from now when the tears are a little less and I've taken his phone number out of my phone. I'm lying. I want to go back two weeks and not make snotty comments because I'm insecure, and cry a little less about the pain of my shins. And smile a little more when he kissed me in the morning. Damnit.

He has totally shut me out too. He won't talk to me at home and he called me this morning at work to make sure I was there (and not still in bed crying) but it was terribly awkward. I wish that I could talk some sense into him. I wish I could convince him that I'm good enough. Damn damn damn. This isn't the kind of blog I should post and it probably won't be up for long. I'm trying to let out a little of this hurt.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Mircea and I have decided to call it quits after a little over a year together. We just can't overcome our differences and have decided we will no longer see each other. I'll be moving my stuff out of our house this weekend, and moving back into the cottage (that I still have since we had our first fight in July). My heart is broken into a million pieces right now, because I know that I didn't put my best "self" into our relationship and allowed my insecurities and fears to rule my reactions to Mircea. He was not perfect either, but I fell into the traps I've set for myself over the years, and set the sour tone for our relationship.

This couldn't be at a more difficult time for me emotionally, as I'm attempting to finish up my last semester of graduate school and it is very daunting right now. I'm also trying to get control on my weight, and have been gradually dropping pounds since the new year. I feel like I always lose sight of things right when I feel like I'm getting them together.

I know he'll never read this blog, but I just have to say that I love him very much. He made me realize that many of the traits I was looking for in a man could be found in one package and that I did deserve to be treated like a princess. I'm so regretful that I couldn't maintain my positive outlook and not listen to the voices in my head, taunting me back into my insecurities. I know that man loved me with all of his heart, and my fears and questions second guessed that love and it eventually fizzled.

My biggest fear is that I will find myself writing this same kind of post in the next year, wondering why I've failed again, why I got scared and insecure once more. I don't know for sure how to break this cycle, but once again, I've left someone who cared for me very much in the wake of my tears.

I miss him already, and I owe it to myself to stop hurting myself and others this way, because I keep losing people that are so good in my life.

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend.

Ski Trip Recap

Ok, I'm trying to keep positive, but this ski trip really sucked. First of all, I should have never gone. It was me, Mircea, and 4 other people that are in their 40's that Mircea knows from work. To say it was pretty awkward and painful is an understatement. We went up in two cars and Mircea slept the whole way up, leaving me with a painful silence with the driver of the car. Then we get up there and he gets mad at me because I didn't bring enough cash (I asked him how much I needed before we left and he said "about $50" and that's what I had, so I don't know why he was so mad) and then yelled at me because I didn't bring ski pants that he thought were appropriate and I had to rent some. No big deal right? Fast forward to the next day, our first day of skiing. My boots were wicked painful. I mean terribly painful. I had to bite my gloves to not cry they hurt so badly, so I had to take more time to switch them out. The new ones were ok for a little while, but then they started hurting pretty badly as well. I go down the first hill. I'm terrified, but I get down, I have fun, and its good. Repeat a couple of times, and then we go to lunch. The pain was back on my shins so I was very slow walking to the lodge. Mircea just left me and I had to find them once I got in there. I should have quit at this point because my legs hurt, but I really wanted to try some more and get better. Frankly, I wanted to make Mircea proud of me and be glad that he brought me along. Yeah right. Once we got to the top of the hill, they decided we'd go down an intermediate run. Let's just say I wasn't ready for that. I fell like 80 times and I couldn't get up. My shins hurt so bad from the pressure of the boot that I could barely walk, but the slopes were so icy that I would just fall down. Mircea came back up for me (since I fell about 2 seconds into the run) and proceeded to yell at me, call me a child, and ask me if he thought the little kids around us should teach me how to ski because I couldn't handle it. I was just sobbing and inconsolable at this point, NOT because I had fallen, but because my shins hurt so bad and the man that "loves" me is hollering at me on the hill. I finally get down the hill and we get out to the car so I can change and just be done. It was a silent ride back to the house, where I just separated from the group, went to take a shower and calm down. Later, Mircea said "well, you expected all my friends to baby-sit you. You embarassed me." He was so mad at me for not being able to ski. Am I the one that is ridiculous here? Yes, I was sobbing like a baby because I hurt, I was tired, I didn't like being a failure, and I sure didn't like being yelled at. I felt like such an outsider this whole trip and it was great because they all acted like Mircea was some sort of celebrity. It was kind of funny. The one woman clearly has a love of Mircea and talked about how great he was and we even had a "Mircea is Awesome" celebration cheese tray. (I'm so not even kidding.) We were celebrating his citizenship, the finishing of the kitchen, and his graduating with his Associate's degreee-all nice things. All things he told me not to make a big deal of while they were happening, and now he's all smiles and happy day because his friend's wife thinks he's a star. (Mind you, he didn't once mention that I helped him with all three of those things. I would have liked to have him say something like "I couldn't have done it without Kate", since frankly, he couldn't have done two of those things without me. It was just a jacked up trip and now Mircea isn't speaking to me because I was crying on the way home after his mom called and said she thought she saw some funny spots on Fern. Yeah, I was upset and I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said "Oh, I hope my little gray is ok," to which he replied "you are ridiculous, you're crying about this. What a child."

I don't know why I started writing all this-I just wanted to write about the ski trip, but I'm feeling absolutely worthless and blue right now. Why do I even want to be with someone who thinks I'm worthless if I can't ski? He can't run. He can't write very well. Do I hate him for this? Am I embarassed in front of my friends that he's not everything I want him to be? No. I love him. I don't care if he cries about something stupid like thinking the cat is sick (she wasn't, she just had dingleberries on her butt), or isn't good at something. He's my partner and I want to support him. I'm so sick and tired of begging to be loved. I realize it isn't real love if you're always asking for it, but I'm just sick of being uncomfortable in our shared home, of spending the nights in front of the tv with his cold silence.

I don't know how to fix this. I don't know if it's possible. No matter what I do in that house, I'm the one that is wrong. He has a stripper that calls him and I'm the one who is wrong for getting upset and jumping to conclusions. He goes out to the bar when he says he's coming home and doesn't call for three hours, but I'm the one who is wrong because "it's no big deal" and "i'm not his mommy" (but I didn't have dinner on the table at his request)

I'm more mad at myself than I am at him. I'm mad that I expect a different response from him because he used to be emotionally involved, and I'm mad at myself for putting up with this and letting his bad behavior make me feel worthless.

So that's our damned ski trip and here's the only picture I have at all. (though last year he managed to take like 40 pictures of himself.)

I'm Bursting With Anticipation!!

I just went on CNN.com and saw this article. I am pretty pumped at the idea of another U2 dvd, and I really enjoyed that concert, so this can't go wrong. Right?

Here's a sample of the movie!

I'll write a post tomorrow about the ski trip, but let me just say, it started out really well and ended with me crying my way down an intermediate hill that Mircea had told me was a "bunny". I don't like him at all anymore. AT ALL!

Tuesday Whine Fest

I wish it was a wine fest! I am in quite a mood today and I just want to share the injustices with you.

• I got yet another crown yesterday. Making it two in a week and 3 total in my mouth. Ouch! I have temps on both sides of my mouth so I pretty much can't enjoy any food (great for WW) chew gum, floss in the back, or live without fear for my ski trip this weekend.
• Lily kept me up all night last night with her constant hissing and whining. She is so damned whiney and I know she picked it up from her mommy (hence this post)
• My new advanced Economics class is already killing me, here in week 2. They started talking math and that is pretty much the time that I shut my ears and eyes and can't focus. Great!
• My other class is something else too. It's online and we chat for about an hour with my slightly pompous instructor. Know when we chat? That's right folks, 8-9 p.m. EST on Friday nights. I've got WAYYYY better things to be doing on Friday nights, namely having fun and putting the week behind me. Lame, lame, lame!
• My weightloss is going pretty slow on WW, but I have to keep telling myself that this isn't a race. I'm simply repairing 10 months of trangressing from my old lifestyle and I am not punishing myself or really dieting. Just need to be more active. Which is the last thing I want to be when it's cold and frosty outside.

Ok, I'm done bitching. Hope you all have a good day. And no, I'm not going to cry about the Colts, not now, not yet.

Oooh Oooh Havahart

We have a lot of nocturnal visitors in our yard and it is becoming a problem. Our little Yukon (did I say little?) has been in several fights with other animals, one of which left him bruised and bloodied, so we're on a mission to clean our yard of "friends". It has been an adventure. When Yukie first started going outside (mind you, I do not like that he goes outdoors but he was raised that way and I can't change his lifestyle after 12 years. Plus he pees on the doors if we don't let him out and frankly this is a better option) we caught a raccoon and a possum and Mircea let them loose at his work (which has a huge forest adjacent to it). No big deal. Lately we've had a string of great catches.

On New Year's Day we caught a sweet little raccoon. He was drawn to the root vegetables left over from some soup we had made, and when we drove him off to the beach to let him go, he seemed to want to stay with us forever. The next day we caught another possum, and this gigantor could barely turn around in the cage. When we took him to get dropped off, he waddled off, his fat "butt cheeks" swinging back and forth. We didn't catch anything for the next few days (despite a trap full of burned taquitos) but a couple days later I woke up to the sound of someone screaming "help". I jolted out of bed and realized that it wasn't a person...it could only be a peacock with a yelp like that. With my bleary eyes I peered out to the Havahart cage and saw this sweet, puffy little black and white cat. I figured she wasn't making the noise, so I walked out to release her from the cage (they get released back into the yard and we assume they'll be too scared to return.) and I heard the loudest, most shrillest sound ever. The peacock was this cat! I have never heard a noise so earth shattering since I last put SoftPaws on Little Fernie. I'm trying to release the cage and she is just screaming into my ear. The poor little thing was so scared (but full of taquitos) and she just raced off into the woods. On Tuesday night after a roving internet game of Guitar Hero with Marc, I found another cat in the cage. This little guy had eaten some old bologna (none of this is rotten) and he was pretty agitated too. He seemed to want to come inside with me, but with three other cats I just couldn't risk it.

This morning I was awakened from a dream about Peyton Manning (we were making chili for his brother's football game this weekend) with this terrible scratching sound. In the dream it was the crockpot malfunctioning, but in real life it was a rabid animal freaking out in the cage. Apparently it really liked the celery and additional root vegetables that we'd left out there. Mircea dropped that off at work this morning, but he said it wasn't without a fight. Interesting.

I tell this long, drawn out story because I also caught something else in the Havahart. Something I hadn't expected and something that really didn't want to be caught.

My poor Yukon was probably locked in that cage for about an hour. I'd let him out because I was vacuuming and he was begging at the door. I was taking some recycling outside and I looked for him in his usual spot and he wasn' t there. And then I heard it. The cries of a my little baby. Apparently he's lost the taste for cat food and had a hankerin' for some bologna and carrots, and had himself caught in the cage. I had to take some pictures (and a little movie with my high pitched voice) of him before I released him. My poor, poor little baby. He's such a little piggie that I'm sure he couldn't resist the additional vittles. I brought him inside and he cuddled up with me all day and slept in front of the fire all night. Silly boy!

Dear Al Sharpton-

Shut the hell up.

File Under: Hopefully She Didn't Think I Was Eyeing Her Chest...

I checked out at WaWa for coffee a couple of days ago and found myself staring at the name tag of the young lady that was ringing me up. This is what I saw:

Naughty'a

I kept saying it in my head. Naughty-eh, Naw-taya, and then it came to me. This was how this person's mother/father spelled Nadia. WTF? That wins the award for worst possible way to spell a name, as awarded by Kateypooh. This is as close to Orangejello & Lemonjello as I'm ever going to see in person. (Shout out to Carly & Marc)

My precious Colts are not exempt from these crazy names either. This guy's name is Craphonso. That's right. His name is Crap, because we all know that no one gets to the "honso". Poor guy!

Recipe Thursday

This is the first time I've posted a recipe that I haven't tried, but I am going to make it this weekend because it sounds yummy!

Fresh Mozzarella & Basil Pizza

1 4-ounce portion pizza dough (I buy from our local pizza shop)
1/2 tsp extra-virgin olive oil
1 large plum tomato, thinly sliced
1 TBSP sliced fresh basil
4 thin slices fresh mozzarella
1 slice country/smoked ham, cut into thin strips
1/4 tsp pepper

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Shape pizza dough and drizzle with the olive oil (brush on if available). Cover dough and let rise for 15-20 minutes. Heat baking sheet or pizza stone in the oven.

Layer tomatos and other ingredients evenly over the pizza. Sprinkle with pepper. Bake for 10 minutes or until crust is golden.


I will not be following these directions perfectly as I'm sure I'll want more cheese (since I've been good on Points this week) and surely will want more basil, etc. I'll let you know how it turns out and hopefully get a photo as well.

****Update****

Uh, this didn't turn out as planned. It tasted pretty good, but I had what I like to refer to as a "pizza dough malfunction".

American Sad-iators

Mircea and I watched American Gladiators last night and I have a couple of things to say about it. First of all, did it always seem so overdramatic and ridiculous? When I was a kid, I looked at these people as true athletes, and thought that the Gladiators were real. Last night, while watching the melo-drama of Hulk "brother" Hogan (I swear he said it 1,000 times in one interview) and Laila "I-swallow-my-words-while-I-speak" Ali, I realized that this is 100% staged b.s. This isn't real. The drama was just all too "perfect" and the underdogs won when it made sense, and it was all just too much for me. While researching this post, I found this article, and felt it was pretty appropriate.

Was it always like this? Those of you that watched this when you were kids-did it just seem like stupid people in spandex? Last night, it seemed just like the WWE, with all its ridiculous drama, tight clothes, and long hair. It was nothing like the glory of Siren, the first deaf Gladiator. There is a new Siren, but she isn't all that great, and frankly I don't know why they would reuse that name. Neither did this person who posted on NBC.

why are you using other gladiators names when they are not the original gladiators, like "siren", siren is Shelly B. I went to high school with her and she is an original, nobody should be using her name period!!!!! Figure it out!!

None of the Gladiators were all the wonderful. Justice just sort of quacked out streams of ebonic-threats that were all too stereotypical (and he should be ashamed!). Wolf was an overly hairy guy (think pre-haircut Metallica) who actually howled...and the first drama was his nemesis, the guy who had tried out for Gladiators a full 14 years prior. Lord if we didn't hear that story 100 times and show his family every second they could. Do the damned obstacle course!!

The saddest part of the whole night was not that this new American Gladiators sucked. It was the realization that so much of what I enjoyed as a child was under false pretenses. America's Funniest Home Videos. Pretty funny (sans Saget) right? All those people getting hurt? Those weren't accidents-they were drunk. I thought people were just funny, but as an adult I see their blurry eyes and know that they are under the influence. Less funny. I really thought that American Gladiators were real, and the realization that the new Gladiators aren't real made me realize that the old Gladiators weren't real either. What about the Easter bunny? Is he all bull too? This is all so disillusioning. I will not be watching this anymore-it ruined my childhood too much. I will spend my time watching Ninja Warrior. Maybe I should be at the gym...

Let Me Upgrade

Damn Beyonce and her stupid Direct TV commercial that I find myself dancing to.

Thought I'd make some changes to my blog while I watched foosball and tried to drown out Mircea's snoring. I have some other plans for my header photo, but my laptop has no formatting/photo capabilities, and I was way to lazy to get up to my desktop. (My laptop can barely run Windows. It's amazing how technology changes in 4 freakin' years)

Not much going on here. Doing pretty well with Weight Watchers, though I had some cake today that Mircea's mom left here. Had the Flex points for it, but as Mircea pointed out (despite my dagger-stare) I probably should focus on cutting out sweets and its not like I needed it. Thanks sweetie pie.

Cleaned the entire house today, top to bottom, every nook and cranny. I felt pretty good about myself, though my back feels otherwise.

Hope you all are having a nice time. Blog land has been a little quiet lately and I don't care for it. Get posting folks!

Guitar Hero III for Wii

My Christmas gift from Mircea was Guitar Hero III for the Wii. Let me tell you-I love this bad boy. First of all, I like rock music, so I'm playing a video game that is blasting rock music into the room, which is pretty good. I've posted a screen shot of the game, but basically you have a plastic guitar and you play along with the music. Duh. You have to push the buttons and strum this little plastic bar at the same time, and it appears that anyone over 40 is incapable of doing this simultaneously. On Christmas day, we brought this to our friends' house to play (in between eating and drinking) and had a blast. The high schooler and his girlfriend (Nick and Diana-awesome kids) rocked out on this, and Mircea and I were pretty decent. Mircea's best friend Tony and his Dad (my boss) were TERRIBLE at it, and we all cracked up as the guitar made "oops" sounds as they missed notes.

I realize I seem like a total nerd talking about this video game, but it was really a blast and we had a great time bonding over it. There is music from several different generations, so everyone can really have fun with it. After talking to my friend Sean about it, he told me about this game called Rock Band, but they do not currently have that available for the Wii. Apparently this game has a lead guitar, bass, vocalist, and drummer and you all work together to perform your song. This is great! Band nerds unite! (yeah Marc, that's you) What's sad it, they don't have a trombone option on any of these games because I could kill at that.

The only problem I have with Guitar Hero is that my hand cramps up. Apparently I squeeze the hell out of the guitar (and any game controller) until it is covered with sweat and my hand is in the shape of a claw. I recommend this game to anyone who has a system you can play it on, but warn you that it can be expensive, especially for Nintendo, because they never seem to make enough of anything for the Wii.

Best of 2007

I’ve decided to give myself a year in review, but just the things I’m thinking about…nothing serious. The following are my more memorable moments of 2007.

Sports:

As I sat outside in sunny San Diego watching the game on a big screen that my friends put on their back porch, I thought to myself “there’s no place better than here to watch this thing.” I was so happy that the Colts won and that Mr. Manning finally broke the Super Bowl seal. I’ve enjoyed the Colts as well this season, and win or lose, those are my boys!!!


Trip:

I couldn’t have asked for a better work rotation. I got some great experience at the office, but I also met some wonderful people that have turned into lifelong friends. San Diego really was one of the best places I’ve ever been and I hope to return there permenantly at some point in my life.

Most Disgusting:

When I found a pair of dirty men’s underpants behind the tv in my room at the hotel. That was just so gross that I’m pretty sure I’ll never get over it.

Worst Movie:

Wicker Man. I still get mad when I think about this movie and I’ve seen two people with it in their hands at the video store and Best Buy and I’ve told them to “keep on looking” and pass up that disgustingly stupid timewaster of a movie. I feel like I’m giving that movie the satisfaction by remaining in my head, but I hate it so much that I can’t really seem to get over it.

Strangest Blog Post:

Milkweed. But hey, now you know.

Best Video:

Sims 2, Goodbye My Lover. First of all, what a great song in general, but to have the Sims 2 associated with it makes it all that more bittersweet. You’d all be proud to know that I have never actually tried to make a video like that on my computer. Not because I don’t have time (I don’t) but because I don’t know how to do it. If I did, you’d see some sweet “shorts” by Ms. Katey Pooh

Best Picture:

The drunken St. Patty’s Day at Mc P’s in Coronado. I don’t ever want to drink that much again and I really believed that I was going to die, but I love this picture. We’d just finished a chugging contest and Allison looked pretty happy, I look like I’m belching (clearly in pain) and poor Rebecca is praying to the God of Chugging contests. It was a really fun night, until I started crying that I needed the Romanians to take care of me.

Halfway Point for Golden Year

2007 has been very transitional year for me. I spent the first three months of it in lovely San Diego, making great friends and enjoying the beautiful weather and sights, but I couldn’t be happier to return to Maryland to spend time with my sweetie and start my real career with the Navy. The New Year marks a halfway point for my “golden year” and I thought I’d start this post with an update on each of my goals.

Completed:
Gain credibility in my position at work (People actually come to me and ask for my opinion and publish my results in our documents)
Earn the respect of my co-workers and peers (I have received several messages from people saying that I am doing a great job and that my reputation in FMS is stellar. I’ve had several job offers outside of the Fire Scout, but I truly enjoying working with this team.)
Repair relationship with stepmother without being submissive. (Spoke to my parents over Christmas and had some long talks. Hopefully this will lead to a better relationship. Really enjoyed the time I spent with my step-sister)

Things I’m Working On:

Complete graduate school (MBA program) (Will graduate in May)
Begin and maintain a healthier, more active lifestyle. (I’ve been working on the treadmill and planning for races. Still have a long way to go.)
Ease up on myself-I’m only human and I’m bound to not be perfect. In fact, that’s in my description. (Trying to ease up on myself and realize that I can’t just snap my fingers and have my mental and physical health at peak performance.)
Work to the potential I am capable of. (I still am pretty lazy ass at work and in grad school but I’m still doing well. Not working to my full potential in either though.)
Be my authentic and true self. (I’ve started being more honest with myself and others about my opinions. I stopped drinking any alcohol because I felt like I used it as a mask to have fun and I really don’t like how silly I act while under the influence.)

Things I Probably Won’t Complete

Complete the Marine Corps Marathon (I can’t finish this as a 27 year old)
Travel Overseas (If my boss stops spending all our travel money on himself I might get to go.)
Participate in the Patuxent River Mini-Triathlon ( I can’t find a notice about it for next year)