Thanksgiving Post

It's 3 am on the day after Thanksgiving, now referred to as Black Friday. I can't sleep. I went to bed at 10 and woke up at 11:45. I'm going to meet my friend at Target but let's be honest, I don't need anything and I'm only going because I couldn't think of a way out. Originally her husband wasn't going with her, so I was going to run interference for her while she ran to claim her Dyson Animal. Now, instead I'm getting myself all riled up about a TomTom I'd like to buy (though I'd rather someone else just magically give it to me for Christmas or a wedding gift) and some cheap digital picture frames, so alas, I cannot sleep. I've tried reading, I had some carbs (that was less for sleeping and more for the pit in my belly) I've cuddled with Yukon under the Christmas tree-I'm unable to sleep. I've been considering just going to Target now and waiting in line, but really, what am I trying to buy?

So in the spirit of being thankful for things that I have but do not own, I'm making a list of things I'm thankful for.

• a wonderful fiance who will soon be my husband and is my forever love. We're far from perfect, but we complement each other so well that I can't imagine my life without him in it.
• a renewed relationship with my Dad and step-mother. We don't bicker, we enjoy each other company and basically we have the familial relationship that has been lacking for the last 8 years. It's wonderful, and I credit all of us for having an open mind and respecting new beginnings.
• a good career. I know that many others out there in the U.S. do not have the luxury of having a steady paycheck and job security. I am very thankful that Mircea and I are both in stable jobs and both of our families have the same blessing.
• great friends. I really do have the best friends. They understand how indecisive I am, they know I'm so crazy, and they still love me. They also know I'm bad with punctuation, but come on, cut me some slack, it's 3 am and I got 90 minutes of sleep in the past 24 hours.

It was a short list. Mostly because I'm getting even more tired. But the list is very long because I have so much to be thankful for and really look forward to the future!

Feeling Blessed

I am one who usually rants. I know, you're surprised at that revelation. I want to take a moment to share with my readers (all 3 of you) the things in my life that make me feel blessed.

• Wonderful friends. Some old, some new, some local, some far away, you are all so special to me and I thank you for the gift of your friendship.


• A good job. In this time of financial strain and struggle I am thankful that I have a career that affords me less worry than some others may have during the struggles of our economy.


• My wonderful pets. I am so thankful that they found their ways into my life and I consider every day with them a gift. The three of them are unique and bring me great joy...most of the time. When Yukon is lost, Lily is whining and Fernie is puking I'm annoyed, but I am thankful for their friendship as well. I love being their "Mommy".


• My family. We're not close, but we try our best with each other and I'm thankful for the relationship that we do have. I love my father very much and appreciate the sacrifices he gave for my well-being.


• My Mircea. We've had our ups and downs, but he truly is the love of my life. Our relationship has grown in our time together and I look forward to our future. And he's a cutie pie


• My health. Despite what often feels like falling apart, I am doing alright and have no terrible damage. A bum knee, a chubby rear end, terrible allergies, and allergy on-set asthma isn't going to kill me, and there seem to be solutions for all of them. Sadly, it's not donuts.

Hope you are all having a wonderful day and remembering to count your blessings. I forget a lot of the time, and I hope to remind myself more often.

Birthday Update: Friday

I have many stories from my birthday and I will seperate them into several posts because it really was an eventful weekend. Since I don't have my camera with me to upload the photos, I'll update you on Friday, which was the least eventful of the days and there aren't any pictures from it anyway.

The day I turned 28 was a good one. I woke up early, snuggled with the kitties, and got ready for my MRI appointment. Let me tell you, I was lucky that it was just my knee because even that was pretty uncomfortable, sitting still for 40 minutes or so (while I was reading my book, so it wasn't all bad) while my knee did this weird involuntary twitching. They made me a cool cd to take to my doctor and I looked at it but it doesn't mean anything to me. Hopefully it will just be like "here, pop a pill and you'll be all better" but I really don't see that happening. It will probably be "there is nothing wrong with you, you shouldn't be feeling pain". But the MRI isn't the fun part of the morning. The fun part was me driving to the MRI, which I did in a sort of silent reflection on my life (with music blaring in the background). I am finally feeling good. I think that time in the cottage was good for me. I feel like I'm willing to try new things, I've got some confidence back, I feel healthier, and I just feel content. I'm trying my best at work everyday, I have great friends, and life is just good. So I sort of felt the sunshine on me that morning and it felt good. I'm vowing to worry less and have more fun with my life, so that should be good if I can follow through. I certainly did this weekend!!

The rest of Friday didn't go exactly was planned. We'd taken the boat out on Thursday only to realize that there was an issue with the engine. Which threatned to thwart our Saturday plans. So Mircea called around and the $4 part that we needed could only be purchased in Baltimore. That's right, BALTIMORE! He got out of work at lunchtime and we drove up the 2 hours to the marina to get the part. And then we turned right back around. We had planned on going to the River Concert Series at St. Mary's College, but the weather was a little stormy and frankly, I wanted to go to Trader Joe's in Annapolis, so that is what we did. We got all kinds of yummy treats, which we broke into for the ride home (who knew two people could eat a huge jar of fantastic green olives on the way home?) and just had a good time enjoying each other's company. We got home and there was a box on the porch...a box of flowers that Mircea had sent to the house for my birthday and that had unfortunately wilted out on the porch because I wasn't there to pick them up. He was like "i had a decision to make, and i figured it was better to go up and have fun in baltimore together". So that's my sweetie!!

Ok, so Friday was mundane, but still fun. Saturday is even better, so just wait. :-)

Oh, and shout out to Sean who sent me an awesome birthday gift. We know each other's Amazon wishlist so well, so it's always easy to please. Thanks again-the soundtrack helped my train of thought and the book will help me with my goal!

No More "In Repair"

I got this little blurb in my email inbox today. It really cements the discussion I had with Patty. I know it won't be overnight, but I really do want to get some happiness in my life, and that will have to come from a more positive attitude. I'm sick of being "in repair" and I'm going to change that on my little side quote bar. When I had the more positive stuff, life seemed better, I swear when I changed that, things weren't going as well.

Happiness is a state of mind, not a way of life or a destination that you'll
reach one day. Bumps in the road of life are to be expected, and we cannot
let them ruin our days. We often think that if a combination of factors
would just fall into place THEN we would finally be happy. Satisfaction can
only come from within, through truly accepting yourself, your life, and your
circumstances. During this life you'll have many hard days--long work days,
sleepless nights, worrying about the future, etc. This week, think about the
joys of your life. Find creative ways to enjoy the little bumps in the road.

Not Falling Back Into the Past

I had a rough couple of days there, where I really hit rock bottom and felt like there was not hope for the future. Not about me and Mircea, but just in general, I felt like my life was so overwhelming and I couldn't handle it. Well, it is so overwhelming, but I CAN handle it. I'm really making an effort on not being so hard on myself. Not judging myself constantly and rehashing all my transgressions in my life. Day 3 and it's already quite liberating. I also read a book which really enlightened me and I hope to really adopt those ideas because I feel they will make my life so much more livable.

I read, The Four Agreements, and the first 16 pages of it blew my mind. It was so simple, it was so obvious, yet, so hard to grasp sometimes. I think that everyone should read it (happy or not) because it really speaks a lot to human nature and how to interact with others. I don't want to go too much into it unless someone has some questions, because I don't want to seem like preachy-preacherton, but let's just say the book talks a lot about setting ourselves free from our own judgement and realizing that each day is ours. Simple stuff right? It blew my freakin' mind.

This past year has been such a journey for me. There are times when I've felt so low, times I felt so high, times that I thought I'd never get through this, and times when I didn't want to, I just wanted to stay in the moment. I'm a late bloomer on this whole "grown-up" thing and I have a long way to go, but nothing in the past year hasn't made me stronger and I've learned so much about myself and the journey I want to take for my life.