Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Weekend: Marine Corps Marathon Edition

This weekend I went up to the D.C. to support Marc in the Marine Corps Marathon. He's been training for months and he finally got to see all his hard work pay off on Sunday.

I know he is planning a post on it, and I will link that to my site as soon as it is up. He was having some internet issues yesterday. I have a lot of pictures too, but I'll wait and let him choose those when he's good and ready.

So all in all, he did a great job and it was a long day (even for this spectator). I'm really looking forward to finishing the marathon myself next year. I wish it was already behind me, but I just didn't have the drive or the willpower.

Congratulations Marc!!!!

****My bestest friend Sean got married to his beautiful wife Autumn this weekend on the beach in Florida. I'm so happy for them and wish them well.****

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Sorry to Get Sappy

I just wonder when things are going to be ok in my life. I just wonder if I'm ever going to find my place in this world and if I'll ever be happy in my own skin.

I really hope I find it. I think I deserve it. I think I deserve to stop letting myself get into terrible relationships and looking for friends in all the wrong places.


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Less Joy

Ok, so the Tivo isn't working. Its going through a 3 hour diagnostic. In a positive note, the eBay seller said it was still under warranty so we could try to get it all worked out. Let me wipe my tears. Sometimes I wonder...

Joy of Joys

The Tivo has come. The installing it is coming now. The smile is big.

The Weekend: Mojito Edition

I had such a great weekend visiting with Patty. She came in on Thursday night, and our originial plan was for her to get a "taste of st. mary's county" and visit the Dew Drop Inn (the home of many a SMIB bachelorette party). Well, her flight was delayed a gazillion times and she didn't actually get into my car until about 11:30, a mere 4.5 hours after her arrival time. Needless to say she didn't get to visit the Dew Drop, but we did enjoy a Blue Moon at my house with the cats. The next day we lazily wake up and drive up to the Germantown area to visit with her friend Emily that she went to school with. Emily is a blast and we went out to a bar in Germantown with another friend of hers to watch a metal band. That's right, a "metal band". It was slighty terrifying and the clientele was very interesting. I absolutly loved the mohawked bartender, and shed a tear to see that he was married. As if I would ever say anything to him, but still.
My favorite part of the evening was that the guy in the band we were there to watch (which of course didn't get onstage until midnight) looked like just a regular normal joe. The rest of the guys in the group were a little grungier, but it seemed as though this guy just stepped out of his office in khakis and a t-shirt and decided "you know what? I'm just going to go sing metal for this group" and proceeded to yell his heart out and strain his vocal chords. They were actually pretty good, but the "yelling" gets to me sometimes.

The next night when went to Kellee's house (the friend of Emily) in DC, and then met up with some other college friends of Patty's at the Banana Cafe, which wasn't the best...well I guess it was good, I was "three mojitos to the wind" so I barely tasted my food. The plaintains were great, but can you ever screw up a plaintain? I think not.

After the Banana Cafe we staggered our way to this other bar, which I have no idea what it is. I was so trashed on those three mojitos, because I had no idea they were so strong and I rarely drink hard liquor. I just kept ordering waters all night, because it was clear that I had my fun. As I sobered up I noticed how quiet it was in the bar. That's when I realized that the bar was full of deaf people. They were all signing and it was quiet (including when I shattered a glass) and actually kind of nice. I think we were some of the only hearing people in there, and it was nice to not have to shout over people.

Monday, October 23, 2006

I Don't Know Whether to Laugh or Cry (laughing)

Purdue Editorial <---Don't click if you are afraid of an inflatable "man part".

I actually counted that the word penis(es) is used 9 times. I have to give this guy credit though-the article is pretty well written and the use of double entendre is sublime.

And yes, I'm embarassed that this brings happiness and "excitement" to Purdue students. And a little shame.

The Weekend: Sports Edition

Well, the Boilers have done it again. I can't be mad at them though, they were playing Wisconsin, a team that far outranks us, and deservedly so. And honestly, as much as I'd like to see the Boilers provide the Badgers with an upset, I'm looking at the greater good of the Big 10 and I like to see the teams win that can be other conferences so we finally get a little respect on the National front. The teams this year are Wisconsin, Michigan and of course, Ohio State, teams that I don't root for when they play Purdue, but I like to see them win so we get a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. (Just a little bit!)

Unfortunate News: The freakin' Irish won this weekend, which puts me at 0-2 for sports on Saturday.

But of course there is one team, that never lets me down. (I use the term 'never' quite loosely, as it does not include the play-offs!) Although it was a little hairy at the beginning, the Indianapolis Colts beat the Washington Redskins on Sunday, making my wearing of the Colts jersey all over DC on Sunday morning well worth the sneers and snide comments. My friend Lainie is a big Redskins fan and I was going to call her at Half-time to comment on the fact that the 'skins were ahead and I was getting scared. And now this morning I was lucky enough to get to send her a beligerent GO COLTS email that I'm sure made Monday even better. I'd like to attach a picture, but alas, Blogger knows not how to upload a picture with ease and simplicity. (or poise and rationality)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Ok, I don't like to get in big social debates, but this article on CNN.com really bugged me today. The story is about Chris Rock's mom, and her claim that Cracker Barrel was racially discriminating against her and her daughter as they waited a half an hour before being addressed in the restaurant. Now I have only once been discriminated against because of my race, and that didn't really upset me too much. Its also not that I think that his mother wasn't discriminated against. I just have a problem with someone saying "Bad service? It must be because I'm ____." Sarah and I recently went to dinner at the Okada Sushi restaurant and we waited almost 30 minutes to even be addressed. We made the joke that the bartender must be homosexual, as there is no way that he would ignore two hotties like us. (We were obviously joking) We didn't go, "this guy must hate young, single, white women." We figured they were busy and had bad service.

Now you might say "well, what if they were helping everyone else and clearly not helping this one group?" That happened to me and Sarah. They helped the drunks, the old people, and the smoking angst ridden hottie "bad-boys".

This may be a perfectly valid complaint that these people were discriminated because of their race. Is it lawsuit worthy? Do you sue the company who hired the bigot that treats you poorly? Do you sue an individual because of their opinion, albeit misguided?

Now I'm staying out of politics and race relations. The end.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

At first I thought I looked weird in the picture as I pick food off of Robyn's plate. But then I realized that her husband and Vinny (w/hat)...well, they look way worse.

Sunday morning. A great time for chores, at least that's what I always seem to be doing on Sunday mornings. I've been lax in laundry and assorted other chores, and Patty is coming in just a few short days (THURSDAY) and I'm getting the house ready for her white glove treatment. I'm actually hoping she wears black gloves that are stain resistent, because my cottage isn't conducive to being dust, bug or hair free. Its a special place all its own.

Yesterday I went to the Navy-Rutgers game with Robyn, Andrew and their friend Vinny. It was a lot of fun, and as always, they introduced me to some nice people. We all had a good time, tailgating before the game (it was very elaborate-about 100 people and everyone was just as friendly as they could be), and then watching the Midshipmen march into the stadium, where we pegged them with candy and high fives. Robyn and I were having a ball, but then we started laughing at ourselves because the guys all wore badges for when the graduated and let's just say when the hottie who's badge said "2010" said "hey ladies" we felt a little sick to our stomach. Robyn's husband said that the boys were just happy as clams when they got to us, and he had to laugh because they were tripping over themselves. We gave candy to the girls and just high fives to the boys...those boys didn't need any extra attention. Oh, by the way, Rutgers shut out Navy 34-0. Oh well, the F/A-18 flyover was pretty cool...though I pretty much get to see that every day of my life working where I work, but still.

So I should probably get back to more chores. I also need to figure out how to turn on my heat. The thermostat doesn't appear to do too much. This should be fun!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Assorted Comments

Today has been an interesting day. I started out the morning with a compliment on my skirt. As I looked down I realized that skirt was inside out. AWESOME! Then I went to a funeral for a co-workers, and it was very emotional. There was a really neat slideshow of him when we walked in and it made me realize how the people that sit and annoy us in meetings are much more than the job they have. This person was so multi-dimensional, and he wasn't just the "Pedro from Tech Data" he was a father, husband, and son to a family who loved him very much. It was really quite moving and reminded me to look at people in a different light.

I also booked a flight to see Lindsay, Dan and Draigan for Thanksgiving. I'm really excited about the trip. We made the decision for me to fly into Las Vegas and we'll have a little visit there, which should be nice. I've never been and the hotel wasn't too pricey, so we'll spend one evening in Vegas as my flight out is fairly early the next day. I'm really excited about helping Lindsay with cooking. If I do say so myself, I've got some mad Thanksgiving cooking skills, and I hope I can show some of them off. Lindsay, we'll have to go over recipes!!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Sometimes song lyrics just speak to you, you know? I am trying so hard to find what I want in life, but I keep making wrong choices. I keep making decisions that are sort of "old habits die hard" kinds of things, and not concentrating on myself. Who really knows how to "heal thyself"? I journal, I go to counseling, I have been going way outside my comfort zone, and I just keep feeling like I get burned. I also keep letting people take advantage of me, and that sucks. I should change that, I keep letting myself get taken advantage of. I'm the one in control, and I often forget that as I'm trying to make friends and not hurt other people. I've been sort of dating this guy Chris, and this weekend he really hurt my feelings. Which is hilarious, because I never really liked him much in the first place, but his rejection somehow hurt me. Its not that he rejected me...its how he did, and it really knocked me out for a few rounds. I'm much less mad about him than I am about myself. I guess its all part of learning and growing. I just wish I'd had the opportunity to go through all these changes when most people are lucky enough to; in college. I never had time to find myself until now. And its really hard. Instead of learning what I want, I seem to be ticking off the "well, I don't want that". I guess its all part of growing up. At twenty six years old.

I'm not supposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn
It feel like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm blind and shaken'
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes

Three Doors Down: Changes

Monday, October 09, 2006

A River Runs Through It

I went camping with my friend Chris and some friends of his this weekend at Swallow Falls in Western Maryland. It was pretty fun, although it was very cold. The second day we were there we hiked over to the falls and took some photos. I had a good time trying out my camera and realize that I have a lot to learn. I thought this picture was framed really well, but I am not the one who took it. Notice that the sweatshirt is a Goonies sweatshirt, which was Chris' and is now mine. I don't care if he wants it back, its the least I deserve from him. (Loooooong story)

The park was really beautiful and I realize that I like camping. A lot. I would prefer to camp with people I'm a little better friends with and I'd like a lot less drinking and a lot more hiking. There were 6 of us and 120 beers were consumed in 3 days. That is ridiculous. I think I can take credit for 10 total. The math doesn't look good for the others. Another lesson in "this isn't the way I want to live", but I guess sometimes you have to learn that from experience.
I think this picture is my favorite. The falls were gorgeous and the river was so beautiful too. I just loved the sound that it made and I felt so peaceful there. I could have spent the entire day there, but I think I was the only one that who enjoyed sobriety.

Two more pictures. I have a ton and I think I may make a slide show. Not that pictures of a river are too exciting, but it was a nice chance to experiment a little bit with my camera. Now I need to learn Photoshop a little better.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Body Issues

This morning was a rough one. I put on jeans (though its Thursday, I have a terribly long day and jeans were the decided attire for it) and an orange sweater. I left the house. Then I turned around at the end of my street b/c I looked down at my huge thighs and said "there's got to be something better than this." I went home and kept changing pants for about 10 minutes and finally, in tears, I put the jeans on that I had been wearing. I get to work and I ask my cube mates, "are these jeans terrible?" They were like "no, but the sweater is too short for them." ARGH!! Do you do that? You "marry" yourself to one particular article of clothing that is actually the problem? The sweater is cute, but it just doesn't go with lower waisted clothing.

I'm starting to get nervous about my impending social situations of the weekend. I am going camping with people that I don't know very well...and that makes my nerves go insane. This is all part of getting outside of my comfort zone. This is WAY outside too.

I've also decided that I'm such a fatty that I have to go back on Weight Watchers. I've gained 10 lbs since I returned from Florida, and I haven't be exercising as much as I'd like to. So I am recommitting to the weightloss and fitness effort. I'm not too far from my goal and if I could lose 80 lbs, then I can lose 15 more.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Slowing My Roll

I have a friend that always tells me to "slow my roll". I'm taking his advice, especially after my last two weeks of being crazy-busy. I did have a pretty hectic weekend, but it was a great time and I didn't get overwhelmed, so it was worth the middle of the night homework session on Saturday. On Friday I went out for sushi with Sarah, which as always, was a great conversation and left me happy all night. The sushi was pretty good too, but the service was terrible, which made me sad because I really want a great sushi place to go to in this area.

On Saturday I went to a Renaissance Festival, which was way out of my element. First of all, I couldn't give a crap about the time period and I'm also not really into drama. (Real life drama, yes, make believe, no!) This is going to sound catty, but I'm definitely not into overweight women in very tight bodices that usually feature a bare midriff and me vomiting up my mead and turkey leg. It was a sight. I see it from two perspectives. One, I am totally uncomfortable with my body and I really respect that people are willing to be comfortable in those clothes. And yet, I also felt very repulsed by some of the sights that I saw and some of it was just in poor taste. Camel toe is not Renaissance.

On Sunday, Marc and I had a birthday party for our cat, little Fernie. She turned 7 and was very happy that her daddy came over for the occasion. We took lots of pictures, which I will surely post as they are embarassing to both me and the cat. Marc was awesome- he helped me clean up my yard and other outdoor projects and I really appreciated that he went above and beyond. I owe him one-I'm pretty sure it will come in the form of helping him with flower beds at the old house.

As I'm trying to "slow my roll", I kept a low profile yesterday, and just went to the gym for an hour or so and then went home to catch up on grad school homework. Tonight I think I'm going to meet a couple of friends from work after the gym and go out for a beer, as John's wife and baby are out of town and he has "clearance" from her to go out and have fun. I thought that was really funny.

This weekend I am going camping, and I'm pretty pumped about that. I'm going with a bunch of people that I don't know, so that is a little nerve-wracking, but it should be ok. A couple of them went to Purdue, so I'm sure we'll get along swimmingly because (most) Boilermakers are fantastic people!

Not sure why I just gave a "schedule of events" for myself. There's not much going on. I have a ton of grad school work, I'm trying to get time to do some photography (looking into a class) and I'm patietently waiting to hear from work if I get to go to California as early as November 1st. Wish me luck!