Wednesday, September 14, 2005

No Run Tuesday

I got home from class and it was almost dark. I know that I could have gone for my standard run in the neighborhood. But I didn't. I chose to eat dinner, followed by a little Law & Order, followed by a lot of crying. On my runs lately I have been thinking a lot about my mom and if she would be proud of me for getting things back together after they completely fell apart in college. I wonder if she would be proud of my job, my weightloss (if she got over the shame of me gaining 80 lbs) and frankly, I wonder if she watches over me on my runs, makes sure that I find my footing, etc. Sometimes I wish she was running right there next to me, though my mother had several back surgeries and I can't picture her running ~ but its a nice thought at the time.

My intention is to run today. I have a running "date" with a friend and she and I are going to try our hand at a run around her lovely tree lined, SHADY neighborhood-it was hot this morning when I came into work, so I hope it cools down or we run in the trees!


Sarah said...

Now it's my turn to cry! I think it's good that you took a "mental health" night; sometimes we just need to sit around and cry and get it all out.
I don't really know you or your mom, but your blog suggests you've come a *really* long way since college; I don't know how she could *not* be proud of you.

Kate said...

Thanks Sarah. I really hope that she is. She died 4 1/2 years ago and for the past week or so I have been a wreck. For no real reason. Well, its probably from stress of 100 million other things, but now that I am finally back to "normal" on so many fronts in my life, I think I realized that I am not normal in that front-and I never can be. I know she isn't coming back, and I know its stupid to wish that she was, but a little kid lies within my heart and that little girl wants her mommy sometimes. Its silly I know, but that's just me.

Kate said...

My friend Aymen cancelled on me tonight because she is a lazy bum. That's ok-I'll just run by myself at home. Bad Aymen, Bad!

Anonymous said...

I am not a lazy bum!!!! I'm sore from yesterday with my trainer's insane workout . I will be with you in spirit, not really:) Love You!!!