Thursday, September 07, 2006

Habit # 2: Begin with the End in Mind

I'm wondering how many of you thought that I would give up on these 7 Habits pretty quickly. I really do believe in them and I really do feel a sense of peace when I think about the lessons that I am learning. Again, this is just a book, and most of it is "common sense", but I am at a very transitional place in my life and the guidance is really helping me understand my wants and desires for my future.

Habit 2, which is Begin with End in Mind, focuses on what you really want out of life. An illustration the author uses is how you would feel as a guest at your own funeral. What would people say about you? What would they say you had done? Would they say "she was wealthy" or "she always took care of those who needed it most."

The main focus is on your principles, what you truly believe and what you base all of your decisions on. It is recommended that a person write a personal mission statement, and I've been working on mine the past few weeks. It really is amazing to think about what you want and care for in life. I look back on my recent events and wonder how I would have reacted to my surroundings if I had a clear focus on what I wanted out of life. I mean, of course I knew what I wanted, but I had never really sat down to think about how to get to all of those things. I know that I wasn't thinking about my goals...I was thinking in the short term (and was I even thinking then?) I will make a concerted effort to act in accordance with my values and principles at all times, doing so insures that there are few regrets, if any.

Another lesson in this habit is how you "center" yourself. I found this to be really interesting. There were many different things that you could center yourself with, but it becomes painfully clear that if you center yourself with things or people, you will surely be disappointed. I defintely do this in my life! I centered myself around my relationship and because of that concentration on another person, I was swung by moods and his thoughts, not my own. Its not that he was swaying me in any was that I was allowing my own thoughts and feelings to be validated by him and when we had differing opinions, I would become disappointed. That's crazy! How could that ever be his, or anyone else's, responsibility other than my own? If you center your life around the principles you have for yourself, you can't be disappointed, because you make decisions based on what you believe in and how you feel, not on the expectations of others.

I wonder if anyone else thinks this makes sense, or if I am justin some sort of cult? I think that these are things that most people already have to live for yourself and be responsible. My life has been centered around letting someone else make a lot of decisons for me (at my request) because I didn't feel comfortable in my own decision making ability. I have never felt comfortable in my own skin, for reasons my closest friends already know.

That's over. I am working on figuring out exactly what I want in life and what I value. I have faith that having a clear understanding of where I am going will truly allow me to enjoy my happiness and let me be at peace with myself.


Anonymous said...

I went to a lecture once that talked about having a goal sheet. I think its the same thing. Although, one of the things on my goal sheet is, to get piss ass drunk with a bunch of nuns.


Patty said...

LOL...that's funny because Jenny has me working on something similar to that. What are my goals short and long-term. HA HA HA! I think she may have taken that course.

Patty said...

ah p.s. your tagline...doesn't quite fit anymore.