Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For You?

I think it is fair to say that I am a tad overstressed. Self-induced stress, but overstressed nonetheless. I have a problem saying "no" to people. Is it that I need the acceptance? I want everyone to love me so I bend over backwards for them? I think that is all true and it stops NOW. I've had a cold for a week now that I just can't shake because I haven't been getting much rest and I've been going out about every night this week. Except Wednesday. Let me share with you my wonderful Wednesday.

On Wednesday morning I'm excited because I don't have anything except Grad School class in the evening. I made a list of things that I had to do; litterboxes, dishes, laundry and REST. Then I get a call from my friend Chris who asks if I am busy that night. I say "yes, but I guess we could hang out on Thursday." Long story short, I invite Chris over for dinner. I've decided I'm making Spinach and Feta Meatloaf*, which my friend Robyn made several weeks ago and it was delicious. She made it in a slow cooker (I've now been told meatloaf in a slow cooker may not be the best idea, but we'll get to that.) so I figured I would do so as well, so it could cook while I'm at work on Thursday and I would come home to a meal ready-to-eat. (Little Military joke there.) So I'm getting all the ingredients together at home and then I realize I don't have any breadcrumbs. No biggie, I'll just omit them. I also had to omit the milk because although I thought I bought plain soy milk I actually splashed the meatloaf with vanilla soy milk. Awesome! Its about 9:15 at this point and I start looking for the crockpot. I can't find it. I call Marc (whom I'd just called about the breadcrumbs as I'd remembered buying them) and he said "oh yeah, your crock pot is right here." So in my pajamas I drive over to his house, get the crockpot (and breadcrumbs, why not?) and then start my drive back. I was FLYING down the road because I was so overtired and so busy. To no real surprise I saw the boys in blue behind me and I got pulled over. The look of surprise on the officer's face was worth a million bucks. I was so disheveled, with my wet hair, pajamas and flipflops, I'm pretty sure she thought she was going to get me for DWI (which I will never do, so that's highly impossible). I was going 70 in a 50. After about 10 minutes of waiting (see how speeding doesn't pay), she came back and said "I wrote you a ticket for going 59 in a 50, so its just one point and $75, instead of 3 points and $500. Of course I said "thank you" and slowly made my way home. I finally get everything done at about 10:15 and I finally get to bed.

The next morning I put the meatloaf in the crockpot, as well as some potatoes for the meal. Easy right? I set it on low and get going. I come home at 5 to a sort of "eh" smell. Yes, of course I burned the meatloaf (I guess there wasn't enough moisture in the crockpot) and the pototoes had completely disinegrated (they looked ashy). I decided not to panic. If a friend can't appreciate that I tried to make a meal then he's no friend of mine. He was actually fairly nice about it, though I would have appreciated he being a little nicer, but oh well. Since I burned the pototoes I made a microwaveable pasta dish and he focused on eating a lot of that. Can I blame him?

So my meatloaf adventure cost me $100 in the short term and God only knows how much in the long term with the hike in my insurance rate. I'd like to get community service instead of the ticket, but I don't like how passivly you get a court date. You just don't pay your bill and then they mail one to you. That makes me feel like I'm in default or something.

That's what being overtired and overstressed does to you. I think Marc put it best when he said I really needed the speeding ticket to let ME slow down, not just in the car but in life in general. Amen to that.

*In the recipe, which is actually quite good, I used dried onion soup mix instead of carrots/onions as I hate carrots and onions. It is also pretty important to add seasoning, as the spinach is fairly flavorless. Its quite a good recipe though and I'd like to perfect it. I've got nowhere to go but up!

CR-V Woes: What do I crave?

Do I crave my old (2005) CR-V, with its grocery-getter styling?

Or the new (2007) CR-V, with its desire to look like the Acura RDX?

Honestly? Neither. I only got a little SUV because Marc and I had planned on having children next year and I figured I'd get it when my lease ran out on my old car. Well, what is the point of having it now? (There is a pretty good argument that I didn't need it then, but it has hauled an awful lot of things that our other car wouldn't have been able to handle.) I've made the decision that if I move to California for good I will be buying a much more economical vehicle, most likely the Honda Civic, as that is what I (as well as Marc) wanted in the first place. It doesn't hurt that my car has been acting crazy since I first got it, and recently the water pump went out and I need to get that fixed (luckily its under warranty). So enough complaining. I do love my car, I do love the Hondas, and in general, I've been nothing but happy. But I do crave the new styling. Its pretty sweet.

"There's not a whole lot of ways this can go right."

**of course I have pictures to add. And of course blogger isn't being agreeable**

Last night I had the pleasure of viewing the film Jackass: Number Two. First we can all laugh at the clever way they involved toilet humor in the title itself. They know no bounds. Let me first explain that I was told that a “big group of us go to movies on Tuesday, we’d love to have you join us”. This group was supposed to include a lot of gals, and a lot of people that went to Purdue. Can you guess that the only ones in attendance were myself and four guys? I asked the one “I thought your girlfriend was coming?” He replied, “she wouldn’t see this movie, even for me!” So I was stuck. And by stuck I mean, having a great time, because I love the Jackass movies. It may stem from my undying love for Johnny Knoxville, or the fact that I like watching people hurt themselves for money. Lots of money. Jackass Number Two grossed $28.1 million in its first weekend. That’s pretty good for a bunch of guys that probably can’t even get insured.

I'd also like to note that although I have had far too many drinks on several occasions in my life, I have never been drunk enough to do any of the stuff they do. Which leads me to believe the obvious, that they are under the influence of drugs way stronger than alcohol. Their pain thresholds never cease to amaze me...and make me wish that I had maybe a quarter of that skill so I could handle things like "hammer to the thumb" and the like.

I don't want to share too much about the movie as some may want to be surprised by the idiocy they cracked open for this one. I will say that I laughed fairly heartily at a some of the Spike Jonze stuff, and I was disappointed that there was less of "Party Boy" Chris Pontius, who is one of my favorites. Of course Tony Hawk showed up, for a pretty good stunt with a gauntlet, and Luke Wilson made an appearance in the credits.

When I first started watching Jackass, I felt really bad for Bam Margera’s parents, Phil and April. I don’t feel bad for them at all. Their son is making BANK and they are surely being compensated and well cared for in all of this. I also used to find Jackass highly offensive, as they are often doing penis-related activities. Not so offensive to me anymore. I realized that they aren’t hurting anyone (except themselves) and that people can choose to watch the programs. I don’t ever watch the tv show anymore, but I’ll say it was pretty enjoyable and whenever I hear the twang of the Jackass theme, I just have to smile. And wince.

**I'd also like to note that I was talking to Marc about his visit to Salt Lake City with our friend Jamie, and he said they watched a movie called The Dudesons, which is akin to Jackass, and it actually came out first. Apparently the Jackass guys are in the movie, as is the Bloodhound Gang, which pleases me greatly. I'll have to get this movie. Maybe when Patty is in town, as she is the one who got me interested in Jackass in the first place. In fact, the last time we were in Maryland together we watched Jackass, so maybe it will be a tradition. Maybe**

Helps!!

Anyone have any suggestions for a new blog name? I'm obviously not doing the marathon this year so it is a little silly to even pretend I'm working on running and the like.

Also, I'm having a heck of a time finding a blog template of any value. I think I may need to just come up with my own. Which means this blog will be a mess for awhile.

Any suggestions would be great.

I'd like to name the blog "Its Kate-tacular" but I think that may only be funny to me. Right now!

Sleeping Beauty & the Colts

That's right, I'm calling myself a beauty. Let the sickie have some vanity, ok? Yesterday I spent the entire day on my couch. I slept the whole day, with the exception of a few minutes of phone calls that came in during my slumber. I think I managed to sleep about 19 hours yesterday, and I'm feeling a little bit better today, though I still have all the cold symptoms, but I'm going to take it easy this week. I was just a social butterfly last week and I think that's why I got sick in the first place. I need my rest!

I'm also in need of some positive thinking. I need some good wishes and praying that I get the opportunity to do my current job in California. At the very least, it will be for 3 months, but it may turn into a permenant position. I was very worried that I was "running away from my problems" by going to California, but now I'm starting to think it just might be the best thing. I love my job, but if I can do it in another location that may be best. Wish me luck, I should find out more this week. Regardless of this job opportunity, I'll still be in San Diego from January-March, so at least I'll get away for a little while.

Hooray for my friend Lindsay and her husband Dan. Dan returned from Iraq on Saturday, safe and sound! Lindsay sent me some pictures from the Homecoming and I cried like a little baby. It was so nice to see those brave men and women returning to their families, the look of love and happiness in their eyes. I'm tearing up again! So thank you to Dan, Lindsay and Draigan, and all the military families that are sacrificing for our freedoms!


A little more football news! GO COLTS!!!!
My boys are doing well this year and it makes me happy. They managed to win even though I wasn't watching the game nor wearing a jersey, so I can finally accept that what I am wearing, doing or thinking, has no bearing on my team. Thank goodness because that stressed me out a lot. Its kind of hard to keep loving the Colts. It reminds me so much of happy and fun times with Marc and it makes me sad. I mean, I got engaged at a Colts game and its very hard not to think of that when I watch our boys in blue. Oh well, it can remain a happy memory and I can continue to enjoy them...but still.

Homecoming Win!

Thank goodness for this win. I have never been a fan of Minnesota and it makes me very happy to see Purdue with another win this season. It was our first Big 10 game, but thus far we're undefeated. I'm hoping that we can keep it up, though I don't have a lot of faith in it. The Boilers are my team, but they haven't been consistent lately.

Its hard to not be able to see any of the games. I listen to them on XM Radio, but the pain of that is that I have to sit in my car. I've been sick this weekend (head cold) so I haven't been in the mood for it.

I met some people last weekend that were going to Purdue for Homecoming and they invited me a long. I went last year with Marc while he played in the band, but I think I'd rather not go on a 5 state trip when I just met them. Alright, I'm going to go celebrate with a nice cup of tea and a nap!

I've Been Hiding

Ok, not really, but I've been busy with my class for work as well as grad school so I've sort of been under the radar lately. Well, at least on Blogger, as I've sort of become a "social butterfly" in the So. MD area (yeah right). Actually, I have been much more social than usual, meeting new people, attending parties and the like, and NOT drinking. Such a wonderful thing. I realized this weekend how much fun it is to be the designated driver. It really isn't that bad. I can still enjoy a couple of beers if we're staying for a long time and I can "fake drink" and hold a cup in my hand so I don't look too awkward. I met a lot of nice people this weekend and made some new friends. Robyn and her husband Andrew have been so good to me. They said that they are glad we have more time to hang out now (though not about the circumstances surrounding why we can hang out more.)

I've got a busy week this week as well. I went out to dinner last night with friends and I'm having a friend over for dinner and a movie this evening. Tomorrow I have class (blech) and Thursday I'm finally going to get to run for the week. Friday I have to take my car up to Waldorf and Robyn is going to join me to keep me company and to go to the mall (yeah!). My car has been acting crazy, and it also smells like garbage, so I'm not so happy with it right now. Saturday I'm going to the St. Muurry's County Fair with my friend Murthlyn, as its her birthday and all she seems to want is a funnel cake. I can oblige. I'm hoping to watch some football on Sunday. My friend Ben seems interested in me doing that with him as well, so it seems like a good plan.

Well, that's about it. I don't know if any of you read Marc's blog (Mild Amusement for the Masses) but he's had some pretty funny stuff on there lately. Check it out if you're in the mood.

Another Daily Motivator-I like these!

Life can be great when you simply go with it. Instead of excessive worrying or endless analyzing, just make your choice and then move forward with it.

Your first instinct is often your best one, because it comes from your authentic self. When you start taking a lot of other conflicting opinions and perspectives into account, your options quickly shrink.

Certainly it pays to think things through, and to consider the advice of others. Just don't let it all dilute the passion that can energize your life.

Trying to make the perfect decision can often lead to no decision at all. Trying to avoid every mistake can be the biggest mistake, because you also avoid getting anything done.

Though you can plan for the future, you cannot precisely predict it. So go ahead with the best you have, and you'll be completely able to deal with whatever may happen.

Even though it has no guarantees, this day is an incredible opportunity. So step confidently, enthusiastically forward with a smile on your face and go with it.

-- Ralph Marston

Looking Back...and Forward.

I don't know if anyone took a moment today to think about the lives that were lost on September 11, 2001. There was a moment of silence observed in my class today, and while I said a prayer for the families of the victims of the attacks and for the service men and women that are currently engaged in fronts across the globe, I was moved to tears. I definitely wasn't the only one in that class room crying.

In my lifetime, there has never been something as "uniting" as this. Nothing like this has happened on U.S. soil. Its so heartbreaking, so gut-wrenching. Everyone has their own story of how it effected them. Where they were, what they saw on the tv, the emotions that they went through. It touched so many people, and it continues to touch people. I think that everyone holds their family a little bit closer when they think of the attacks. I think that people try to remember how precious their life really is. I hope that I find the strength to do that everyday. To appreciate the moments that life has to offer and the joy in the every day living.

When I think about September 11th, I also have a strange peace that comes over me. Its an odd one, and I'm not sure why I'm sharing, but I guess I am an open book. Ok, I know that I am. My mom died in January of 2001, and for whatever reason, I feel a sense of peace that she wasn't living to "go through" it. My mother would have had a very hard time with it and I'm sure she would have become very depressed. As much as I wish I could have hugged her close that day, and so many days since she died, I am glad that she was spared the pain of it. I just don't think she could have handled it. That is one thing I wish I hadn't "picked up" from my mother. The uncanny ability to internalize the world's pain. Its all fine and dandy, but it eats at you constantly and makes happiness seem like an unattainable goal.

Thank you to all those who are doing what they can to protect our freedoms. Whether War is the answer or not, I don't know. But I do know that those who are fighting for us deserve to be protected and safe, and I say my prayer every night for the men and women I know over there (LC, Dan, Miguel, and Cooksey) and the many that I don't. I hope you'll do the same.

Love & Memories

I don't know if anyone knows that O.A.R. song, but it has been one of my favorites for awhile. I used to love that song like "oh, that man is angry" and now unfortunatly its like "oh damn, that applies to my life." I hate that. I really hate that.

Friday was a pretty fun day. I got some stuff taken care of around the house and then spent the evening with the Warner's and Ben playing beer pong. It was a lot of fun and I'm terrible at it. The fun part is that they don't play beer pong the standard way...they actually played ping pong with special rules. I was pretty happy though, I got on Ben's scoreboard, which Robyn said took her a couple of times.

Saturday I had a good day too. Got some stuff done around the house in the morning and then went out to dinner at Outback and went to see Lady in the Water. The dinner was great, the movie ok, and the company wonderful. Its so hard to not be "wistful". I think that is the word that best describes me. Its my "verb". (it used to be "relax" so this is a good thing!)

Today I've just been working around the house getting it all cleaned up and organized, since I'd been fairly lax on that, mostly because of the Sims. I'm trying very hard not to fire it up today. I just love it so much. Oh, my neighbor dog is at my house now. He's the sweetest, stinkiest dog ever, and I can only assume he belongs to someone, but he seems to love me. Well, actually, he loves Ben and Andrew the best, but since I'm the only one that lives here he has taken a shining to me. He's such a sweet boy. McGruff the Grime Dog (or Slime dog). I should go play with him!

I have a big class the next two weeks, so I'm not sure how much blogging I'll be doing as I won't have computer access all day. This class is another one of those stupid Navy/Marine Corps schools. I'm not looking forward to it at all, but at least now I can go back to my home instead of being stuck in a hotel with a bunch of jerky guys. I won't be getting the 3 am knocks on the door just to tell me how beautiful I am. As if its a compliment coming from someone who reeks of alochol!

Habit # 2: Begin with the End in Mind

I'm wondering how many of you thought that I would give up on these 7 Habits pretty quickly. I really do believe in them and I really do feel a sense of peace when I think about the lessons that I am learning. Again, this is just a book, and most of it is "common sense", but I am at a very transitional place in my life and the guidance is really helping me understand my wants and desires for my future.

Habit 2, which is Begin with End in Mind, focuses on what you really want out of life. An illustration the author uses is how you would feel as a guest at your own funeral. What would people say about you? What would they say you had done? Would they say "she was wealthy" or "she always took care of those who needed it most."

The main focus is on your principles, what you truly believe and what you base all of your decisions on. It is recommended that a person write a personal mission statement, and I've been working on mine the past few weeks. It really is amazing to think about what you want and care for in life. I look back on my recent events and wonder how I would have reacted to my surroundings if I had a clear focus on what I wanted out of life. I mean, of course I knew what I wanted, but I had never really sat down to think about how to get to all of those things. I know that I wasn't thinking about my goals...I was thinking in the short term (and was I even thinking then?) I will make a concerted effort to act in accordance with my values and principles at all times, doing so insures that there are few regrets, if any.

Another lesson in this habit is how you "center" yourself. I found this to be really interesting. There were many different things that you could center yourself with, but it becomes painfully clear that if you center yourself with things or people, you will surely be disappointed. I defintely do this in my life! I centered myself around my relationship and because of that concentration on another person, I was swung by moods and his thoughts, not my own. Its not that he was swaying me in any way...it was that I was allowing my own thoughts and feelings to be validated by him and when we had differing opinions, I would become disappointed. That's crazy! How could that ever be his, or anyone else's, responsibility other than my own? If you center your life around the principles you have for yourself, you can't be disappointed, because you make decisions based on what you believe in and how you feel, not on the expectations of others.

I wonder if anyone else thinks this makes sense, or if I am justin some sort of cult? I think that these are things that most people already realize...you have to live for yourself and be responsible. My life has been centered around letting someone else make a lot of decisons for me (at my request) because I didn't feel comfortable in my own decision making ability. I have never felt comfortable in my own skin, for reasons my closest friends already know.

That's over. I am working on figuring out exactly what I want in life and what I value. I have faith that having a clear understanding of where I am going will truly allow me to enjoy my happiness and let me be at peace with myself.

These Are My Confessions...

• I should not have purchased the computer. I have an addiction problem to the Sims 2 and it is taking over my life. I really ought to take it off the computer, but then I wouldn't have needed the computer and then it would have just been a waste of money. Damnit! I realized that I probably only dated Marc for about 2 out of the 6 years because I played so much Sims. Too bad I couldn't live my life in the real world instead of living vicariously through a freakin' computer game.
• I got my textbooks in the mail yesterday and didn't even crack them open. I just played the Sims 2.
• I haven't folded my laundry yet this week. I cleaned my sheets and bedspread this weekend and have been sleeping on the futon as I'm just too lazy to make my bed.
• I am probably not running the marathon this year. It breaks my heart to say it, but I'm far from prepared and don't see myself "bucking up" and getting ready in the next month and a half. I am going to pay the fee to transfer the entry to next year, so I'm just pushing my goal off for a year.
• 2006 was the year I thought I'd finally get everything in my life together. Turns out, nope.
• I've got to go now because I have a lot of work to do and shouldn't be on here.
• I logged back on because I realized that I didn't put my "On Notice" picture on here. I confess that I stole it from Marc, who stole it from Ray, who surely stole it from someone.

My Wild and Wonderful Weekend

I've been censoring this blog for awhile, but decided, what is the point anymore?

The weather here has been nuts. I just got home from a weekend away simply b/c I didn't have electricity until about an hour ago. I lost hundreds of dollars worth of lean cuisine in my chest ferezer because the power has been out for two whole days. I had to cancel my crabbin' party because I didn't have water for the toilets nor the ability to light my stove (apparently gas doesn't work without power) to cook the crabs. But that didn't stop me from having a great weekend filled with fantastic friends (and finding out whom my real friends are.)

Friday night I went over to Lainie and Jose's and had a blast playing pool and hanging out in their bathtub (long, long story) We had a great time, though I'm sure Lainie was getting peeved that I was on her team for pool because I am so terrible. I ended up staying the night there as I had no electricity and I enjoy showering at my leisure.

On Saturday I came home from Lainie's, realized I didn't have power and called all the gals to uninvite them to my crabbin' party. When I called my friend Robyn she said that I should stay over there, so I spent the day with her and her sweet husband Andrew watching movies (The Hills Have Eyes) and eating the food that I had planned to make for the party. Then we came back to my house and went crabbin' with their friend Ben, who I just love, and Andrew and I drank too many beers and Robyn and Ben drove us back to their house, where we watched Notre Dame (BOO) play Georgia Tech and I discovered on the NFL channel that my boyfriend Mike Vanderjagt is screwing up for Dallas like he screwed up for the Colts (though I still love him dearly)

Today the Warners and I went to a couple of parties and watched a ton of Food Network but then I came home because I figured the girls probably missed me. Luckily I had power when I got back and I'm now writing this fairly random post in my tipsiness from the party. I did meet my future husband at the party...well, maybe. This very funny redneck guy (I'm talking Larry the Cable Guy) was like "how is a cute girl like you not married?" (if he only knew) I said something unintelligable and he said "Well, we'll get ourselves hitched in no time". Lucky me, eh?

I also learned a valuable lesson about friendship this weekend. Now I can move on. Thank you for that gift.

Tomorrow I may go crabbin' or "Kanayaking" with Ben and the Warners. It should be a great time.

Another Dell Letter

Dear Jose,
You were nothing short of charming with your requests for me to "do you a favor" and do a specific task on my computer. In fact, in many countries, I think that you and I would be married because we spoke on the phone for 2 1/2 hours! I know all about your country (El Salvador) and how it is roughly the size of New Hampshire. You have also inquired as to where I reside, and I explained that it was Maryland and then you began asking me questions about Washington D.C. and the security in the area. I briefly explained that there was plenty of security and sort of worried a little in the back of my mind about such a question, but decided that this 21 year old Dell technical support gentleman (who I can only assume was wildly hunky because otherwise this wouldn't be of any value) was of no threat to our Capitol. Thanks again sweetie!

Kate

We tried so many different fixes for my internet connectivity issue. Earlier in the day I had installed the Sims 2 with the hopes of maybe living out my relationships vicariously through animation, but alas, we promptly restored my computer to its original settings, thereby wasting an hour that I had already wasted when I should have been cleaning. We did everything short of a rain dance (well I guess I did a rain dance because its pouring here because of Ernesto) to get the Internet to work, but it never did. So I am expected to sit at home tonight beginning at 5 pm waiting for them to call back and walk me through the reinstallation of Windows XP. Yes, of course I know how to do this, but they've said that they want to walk me through it so its all in the right order. Whatever. The last fix is that they are sending me a new motherboard. Isn't this grand? Brand spanking new computer... can't even use it.

Oh, but that's not all boys and girls. I got food poisioning yesterday from some Thai soup that I had (Pho) as did my co-worker and my friend Bill (who was dining near us eating the same thing), and spent the afternoon sick, although I'm working on a project with a pretty tight deadline (not so tight that I'm not writing this). Then, my dryer sort of burned up when I got home. It runs really really hot, so hot that I can't touch the clothes when they come out of it, and I had to unplug it last night because it smelled like fire and burned some stuff. So I get to call my sweet landlady today and cry to her over the dryer. To top it all off, I'm having a party tomorrow that involves a lot of outdoor time and its pouring rain and not expected to stop. Woo hoo. I'm sorry for all the whining, but I just can't believe my fortune. Like Stephen Covey says though "carry your own weather". Why am I carrying a crap storm?