Sunday, May 14, 2006

I Quit!

I am just so sick of everything...and I do mean everything that I just want some sort of repreive from being me. Nothing seems to go right and I just keep making stupid decisions that make me worry if I even have a brain in my head. I have a terrible sunburn, because of course, I am some sort of idiot who thought it not necessary to spread sunblock all over my body b/c I thought I had a decent base tan. What is wrong with me? I know that is a bad idea, but in the heat of the sun and the desire to be beautiful for a stupid wedding I think that I should just get cancer. The best part is, when this sunburn peels, I'll be back to my white skin, surely to look beautiful in my dress...yeah right. I'm so pissed at myself.

Second, I have been a total jerk to Marc today b/c everytime we start doing wedding stuff, I feel overwhelmed and sick and tired of doing it. Marc has been pushing me today and just kind of being a pain and I'm fed up. He wants all this stuff a certain way, but hasn't spearheaded any way of getting it there. I just want this wedding over. Its so flippin hard to do all this stuff especially when our wedding is far from the house, and for that matter so am I. I assume that it will all be worth it, but it seems from our RSVPs that no one can come to the wedding anyway, so it should be a really fun time. At least it will be cheap if no one shows up.

For Sarah, I'm putting a picture of my ring on here. As of this moment, its the only thing that makes me smile. That and the "There Ain't No Bugs on Me" doggie on tv.

I think Marc also forgets that today is Mother's Day. My mom died in 2001 and frankly this day just isn't fun for me. The whole wedding planning without my mother isn't fun either. This is certainly not how I envisioned this.

I just want to go home!


Chantelle said...

oh sweetie! I'd hug you if I could!!! I know the wedding stuff is difficult, but in a few weeks it'll all be over, and you'll look back with fond memories and laugh at everything else.

I didn't know about your mom until recently, but please accept our belated condolences.

Everything will be okay!!! Keep smiling :)

Sarah said...

I'm so sorry you've been having a rough time. I'm sure Mother's Day *is* difficult--especially when you're away from your home and friends! Hang in there with wedding plans--I hear every couple goes through hell and back when trying to plan a wedding. Your ring looks GORGEOUS!