Monday, July 09, 2007

I guess we'll see how this goes. I have calmed down a little and I'm not looking at this from such a fatalist perspective. Mircea and I both knew that we were taking things fast by moving in together so quickly, but we had such strong feelings for each other and felt like things were right. I'm not sure that moving out is really going to solve a problem with him, but I guess it will solve the problem of two people who shouldn't be together living together.

I know I was jumping in with both feet and I knew it could hurt, but things were so great before I started letting my low self-esteem and negative self-talk convince me that he didn't really love me and that I wasn't good enough for him.

I'm so sad that I blew it. I will miss being with him so much. I loved pulling up to our little house on the dirt road and seeing him out working in the yard all sweaty and sweet. He was my home. I guess I need to be my own home.

4 comments:

Adam said...

" Life is like a box of choclates ya never know what ya gonna get." - Forrest Gump ( cheer up )

Adam said...

Sorry this computer doesn't know how to spell chocolates.

Patty said...

Go back one year please. Thank God for blogs, I want you to go back to July of 2006. Read what you were writing then.

I'll call you tonight, you might not want to pick up the phone.

Kate said...

Oh Patty, you are so right! Without even talking to you, I know exactly what you are referring to and you are right. I've taken much better action this time, I promise!