Nothing New

• Still working on my buttload of homework. Only two weeks left of grad school. I can't wait. Seriously, I cannot wait.
• Doing really well with the 30 day vegan challenge. Feeling good, feeling great in fact, and don't really feel like I'm missing out on anything. I'm not making any wild conjectures now, but I think I can keep this up for a darned long time. It will probably be something more "vegetarian like" but at the same time, eating out isn't all that good for me anyway and that's where the problem lies with veganism (in a small town for sure)
• My veggies are sprouting. Who knows if they'll make it to the garden.
• All the cat kids are great. I just love that they still like meditating with me.
• Off to class. Only two more of this stupid Econ class and I'm done. DONE. (I hope you can all hear me just shouting done at the top of my lungs. DONE!!!!!!!!)

Bowling: Its a Sport, Right?

I joined a bowling league with my friends Ben and Robyn (and our other team mate Kelly, who I'm just getting to know). The four of us are known as the Garage Guzzlers, which is actually Ben and Robyn's beer pong team name (and I'm an honorary member of the team since I guzzle beer in Ben's garage too). We play every Thursday and we are currently in 5th place. We are terrible, mostly because I am horrendous at bowling. My handicap is 122. That's right! My average is 94, and I had such a rough time this last Thursday that I didn't make my average on any game. The guy bowling in the lane next to us bowled a perfect score and it was really awesome. He gets a satin jacket with his name on it, and I think everyone knows how I feel about satin jackets (love 'em).

Things are going well other than that. I'm in a business law class and I really enjoy that. So far the homework isn't too intense so it is ok. I'm getting back on the weightloss and fitness bandwagon and have been doing well all week. It's nice to be "back" a little and not just pigging out all the time for no reason.

I'm walking for the Luekemia and Lymphoma Society tonight. I raised $625 for the event, and our whole team beat their goal of $7k. It should be a great night!

I helped my friend Murthlyn move this morning. I'm so sad. We started at Enterprise together when I first moved here and we both left for Government jobs. She's going to go work for the Department of Homeland Security up in DC. I miss her already!

There Patty, are you happy?

I'm Alive, but Not Well

Things have been really hectic the last few weeks. I feel like I am spinning out of control with stress and worry and don't know how to get out of it. Work is stressful and I'm having a lot of trouble learning all the new stuff necessary to perform my job, school is tough and I have no idea how to do the math class I'm in, and I think I might be mentally challenged against learning. The one thing that was going well (Mircea) is not going so great right now. I'm just so stressed that I can't handle any little thing that comes my way. He has had a rough couple weeks too, punctuated by the death of one of his very close friends last week (while I was in Key West). I don't know how we can both get out of this funk and salvage our relationship. I'm going to start seeing my counselor again (June 12) who can hopefully help me with some of my emotional management issues. Sometimes I wish relationships were easy, and then other times I know they wouldn't be worth the heartache and searching if they were simple as can be. I just want to be loved, for who I am and what I offer. I talked to my friend Lainie today and she said "You lost your confidence, sweetie, and that's why you are so low" and she is so right. I don't have that confidence I had (for like 6 months total), so I'm not feeling good about myself or my relationships. Hopefully I can get out of this funk...at least the sun is out and bright and if I don't screw it up too badly I actually have a future.

Oh I'm Stressed

I might just pull out all my hair, put my thumb in my mouth and curl up under the coffee table (like Lily does). I'm so flippin' stressed out right now that I could scream. Instead of making it better and dealing with the stress I'm just crying about it, which is really effective (note the sarcasm)

I'm heading off to bed now but here's the cliff notes.

1. I have a 35 page paper (strategic plan) and a 22 slide Power Point due on the 16th. I have not started. I have total writer's block on this, though I've done the research.

2. My new job...it's tough. Under the heading Foreign Military Sales Fire Scout Logistics is my name, with the words "Team Lead" next to it and no "team" to speak of. It's a great honor that they trust me, but they are highly misguided and I am not prepared for this job. If I do well (20% chance) I will really make a name for myself in the Navy. If I suck it up, well, I'll have other chances, but I'd really like to do well.

Ok, I'm going to bed. Pass out while crying is more like it.

So Many Good Things...

First of all, the Indianapolis Colts won the Super Bowl, and that makes me happier than I've been in a long long time. I have loved the Colts since I moved to Indiana in 1992, and for once, it has truly paid off to be a fan. I can't wait to order more Colts merchanidise, though the prices skyrocketed overnight. Oh well!

School is going pretty well. I think this math class might actually put me over the edge. It is really funny-I read the chapter, look at the notes from the instructor and I have NO CLUE that they are talking about. We get to the homework and again, completely dumbfounded over the work. Fantastic! I just keep telling myself if I can get through this semester that I only have two left and I'm done done done! Mircea will be graduating school the same time I do and we've been hoping we'll be able to go on a cruise or something to celebrate. I'll be celebrating the "end of school forever" but he's only just begun. HA!!

Work is going pretty well too. I need to finalize my permenant position with the Navy when I return to PAX and that is sort of lowering my productivity here, but oh well.

As much as I hate any sort of fad diet (since I was so successful with straight diet and exercise) I'm on day two of the South Beach Diet. I really want to lose some quick weight so I look cute in my dress for when Mircea is here. Like it really matters, but still. I have my buns class today followed by the personal training session so I should be whipped into shape.

Gotta run to a meeting...