Monday, October 29, 2007

Thoughts...

Sometimes I wonder if things in my life are going to be okay. I wonder if I will be successful in my career. I wonder if I will be in a loving relationship with a family. I wonder all of these things, and I try to control them and align the stars so these things will happen. I am having a lot of trouble living “day to day” and it is greatly affecting my relationship with Mircea. He is so laid back and comfortable in his own skin, and I am constantly second guessing myself and his feelings for me (and my own self-worth). I just don’t know if it’s worth holding onto anymore. I would love to continue a relationship with him, but I’m also scared that if we are holding onto emotional wounds of the past several months, that there really isn’t a point. I know life isn’t all roses, but can one ever recover from emotional wounds that they have inflicted on each other? Can you get through these rough patches when people are stressed and pushing each other away? I just don’t know. I need to stop worrying and just live my life. Easier said then done.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

"Can you get through these rough patches when people are stressed and pushing each other away?"
YES, YES and YES. I was in *such* a dark place a few months ago, and I'm amazed that Russ stuck around. I was depressed, I was miserable, I was convinced that he would leave me for someone else, etc. He hung around, though, while I put myself in therapy and got through it, and now I'm so, so very happy he stuck with me. Mircea sounds like a great guy, and you seem suited for one another. Don't give up on it yet!!

Kate said...

Thanks Sarah. He is a great guy and I am a great girl. I hope we can work through this together and I appreciate your kind words.

mm said...

I don't know if I've said this before, but check out the book 'Feeling Good'. It really helped me out a lot. Also, I recently read 'The Dance of Intimacy' which also provided some insight into relationship issues.

Patty said...

so...I know someone who went through something like this. We'll talk offline. Don't fret so much though!

MImom said...

Speaking as a woman that has had her ups and downs in relationships- I would say that it sounds like you know what you want and need but might be afraid to trust yourself to do what that might be.

When I was faced in a similiar situation, (from the little I pieced together from your post) I realized I had to move on and be by myself. It was hard- I hated being alone- I cried alot- and then guess what- I ended up growing as a person. I did the single thing for quite a while. I think that part is important. I think a person must be comfortable alone before they can be comfortable in a relationship. After I figured out my wants and needs I had a GREAT time getting back into the dating world because I was in a much better place with myself. When you know who you are and what you need dating and relationships are easier to deal with.

I really hope you put yourself first- you sound like you deserve it. *I'm sure the guy is great but you mmentioned some things in your post that indicate you and or him has been hurt by the other person. Love has its ups and downs but it shouldn't cause pain.

As a mom, I hope that I have said some things that might help you. Good luck on whatever you do. Please just make sure you remember how important you are.

Hugs,
MImom