I'm Alive, but Not Well

Things have been really hectic the last few weeks. I feel like I am spinning out of control with stress and worry and don't know how to get out of it. Work is stressful and I'm having a lot of trouble learning all the new stuff necessary to perform my job, school is tough and I have no idea how to do the math class I'm in, and I think I might be mentally challenged against learning. The one thing that was going well (Mircea) is not going so great right now. I'm just so stressed that I can't handle any little thing that comes my way. He has had a rough couple weeks too, punctuated by the death of one of his very close friends last week (while I was in Key West). I don't know how we can both get out of this funk and salvage our relationship. I'm going to start seeing my counselor again (June 12) who can hopefully help me with some of my emotional management issues. Sometimes I wish relationships were easy, and then other times I know they wouldn't be worth the heartache and searching if they were simple as can be. I just want to be loved, for who I am and what I offer. I talked to my friend Lainie today and she said "You lost your confidence, sweetie, and that's why you are so low" and she is so right. I don't have that confidence I had (for like 6 months total), so I'm not feeling good about myself or my relationships. Hopefully I can get out of this funk...at least the sun is out and bright and if I don't screw it up too badly I actually have a future.

Give me a C-O-N-F-U-S-E-D!

I read this article on CNN (and lovely Robin Meade reported it to me this morning on Headline News.) I don't get it. What are these people upset about? They say the camera men spend too much time on the scantily-clad cheerleaders for their own personal fun, but they don't give them tv coverage. The last quote in the article confuses me the most...

"For the last 6 years, Ohio State cheerleaders have received more TV time than any other Division 1A cheer squad on ESPN, because they wear long sleeved red/white outfits. If they wore sleeveless outfits, they would not get ANY TV time. So, we are fed up with this constant exploitation," the author wrote."

I'm sorry but I just don't understand the argument. It seems to me that one wife/girlfriend got pissed off because her cameraman husband had all these shots of the scantily clad girls for his own personal "frono" collection and this person is pissed now. The author doesn't make sense, or if she does, please lead me in the right direction.

Lunch Update

My blog has been severely neglected lately, but so has pretty much everything else in my life, other than my teeth. I had the root canal done on Thursday afternoon and was in SEVERE pain up until Saturday evening. It still hurts pretty badly right now, but it is a dull ache in the back of my mind as opposed to the throbbing interruption to my every waking moment. Here's a quick "Weekend Update with Kate"

Friday: Recovered some more from the teeth. Watched lots of I Love Lucy reruns on TV Land. Picked up race packet for the Run for Hospice. Played with the kitties, bought some bananas, and had dinner with Mircea and his mom.

Saturday: So sick from the pain medication I took that I did not "run" for Hospice. I couldn't even walk. All I could really do for more than 5 minutes was lay in bed moaning of pain and vomit in 15 minute intervals. It really was grand. During the day, Mircea and his mom were working outside with assorted chores and I was just laying there sleeping with fat Lily, who was more than happy to have a cuddle buddy. I got up after a great bout of vomit, and chopped down two trees, but quickly realized that my best work was getting done in the sleeping department and I went back to bed. I woke up in so much stomach/tooth pain that I thought I would die, but after 30 minutes of pure retching (I honestly think I threw up my spleen, I'm not even kidding) I felt FANTASTIC! I mean I was on the top of the world. It was great! I think we actually had steak for dinner and it was so good and I was F.I.N.E. fine.

Sunday: Woke up early as sin, saw that I got an "A" in my Strategic Planning course (A on the huge paper that I thought sucked), and spent a few more hours just watching tv in bed. When Mircea finally got up he was like "let's go on the boat right now" so we got the boat ready took it out in the Bay and had a blast. I have the sunburn to prove it. We "drove" all around the bay and went up the Patuxent River and had lunch at Stoney's on Broomes Island. It was pretty good, though the ambience is the best part...pulling up to the restaurant on a boat is just really fun. We realized that we have very different tastes in boating. I am a sailboat kind of girl. I like slowly going through the water, laying down, relaxing, possibly even enjoying a book. Mircea is all about speed, and we were going like 5o the whole time and bouncing around and it just sucked. I liked it, but I like my down time too, so we've agreed we'll "motor-boat" somewhere quickly, drop anchor for awhile, and then motor-boat back. I guess that's a fair trade. We also watched a ton of Planet Earth, on Discovery HD, and it is just great. Loved it loved it loved it!

Well, back to work. I'm always busy, there's never a dull moment, and I'm officially freaked out. I am going to Key West next week and I'll meet up with Rebecca (of San Diego fame) for several meetings for work, and it should be a nice time. I can't wait to see my girl.

Sorry this was boring. There is little "fun" right now as my mouth hurts pretty badly and my sense of humor is waning with all this pressure.

When it Rains, it Pours

I've been having some tooth trouble lately, and I was told at my last cleaning that I needed a crown and a filling on two of my back teeth. Although I'm not made of money and my insurance doesn't cover it, I decided to go for it. This was last Thursday. Well, on Monday I was experiencing such severe pain in my mouth that I was throwing up. The whole left side of my face is hurting. So I went to the dentist yesterday who told me that the tooth he just filled needs a root canal. Great! So I'm having an emergency root canal this afternoon, which should be grand. And expensive! I'd do just about anything to make this pain go away though-it really sucks. I'm a little nervous about the confrontation I'll be having with my dentist though-after the root canal I'll need another filling in that tooth. I shouldn't have to pay for that, right? Since he didn't see that I needed the root canal when he did it the first time, I think it should be their responsibility since the filling isn't even a week old. Thoughts?

In great news, Miss Lindsay is moving to DC. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it, but I will not get myself all pumped up until she's actually in the tri-state region as I couldn't handle the disappointment if she wasn't here. I'm so happy happy happy happy that she's coming!!!!! Now if I can just get Patty to move here...

Things are still going well for Mr. Mircea and myself. We've integrated the cats and even though they stay in their own parts of the house and hiss all the time, they are getting better. There has been no blood shed, and that's what I like the best. I'll post some pictures of those silly girls-they really are terribly cute. We're participating in the Run for Hospice this weekend, but I am not even sure we'll run; there is a walking option. I'm so out of shape, he's so out of shape, and I'm in so much pain I can't imagine running, but we'll see. We'll definitely show up and walk it if we don't try to run.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. I officially have a week off from school until next semester, when I take the "Advanced Analytical Methods" course and "Dept. of Homeland Security" course, which is very interesting. Required reading is the 9/11 Commission report and it is damned interesting so far.

I'm Done

My paper sucks but it is done and submitted to the instructor.

Now I've got a calculus test to study for. Oh yeah...

Little Update

Whew, things are a little stressful and busy around here, but I think I’ll survive. The past week I have spent a lot of free time working on my final paper for Strategy and Planning, but I’m still only halfway done. I’m going to finish it up this weekend just in time for its Monday due date. Ugh.

Work has been nuts. I’m learning so much and have so many expectations on me in this short time, but I think it will be a very good thing. I’m working with some really smart people and I think I’ll finally get this Logistics stuff down. Funny story (in retrospect). I moved into my new office today and had all my boxes and my monitor on this little cart (can you see where this is going?) Well the cart tipped over and I managed to grab the monitor (thank you to my personal trainer Fred for these big guns) before it went crashing, but my boxes fell and one of them flew open, spilling the contents of my desk all over the parking garage. A very nice ADMIRAL helped me get it all back in, thankfully letting me pick up my own spare “desk tampons” on my own. So embarrassing. Oh well, funny now, but not so funny then, that’s for sure!

Oh, I have to get a crown and a filling done tomorrow and it only costs my whole life savings. Nice huh?

I probably won’t write for a little while, at least until next week. I’m just too busy with the paper, and Mircea and I are trying to get those puffy kitties to get along and they just aren’t. That Stinky is a meanie!!! But I love her with all my heart.

Oh, I forgot the one shining star in my crappy week. I met Mircea’s mother (Rodika) and stepfather (Mike) last night. They were wonderful!! I loved them both and I love Mircea’s stepbrother and his girlfriend too. Such a nice family and they are all so sweet to me. I seriously LOVE his mom, she is so nice and so fun and now I know for sure where Mircea got it from.

Hope you all have a nice week, weekend, and let’s keep wishing for some Spring weather.

Oh I'm Stressed

I might just pull out all my hair, put my thumb in my mouth and curl up under the coffee table (like Lily does). I'm so flippin' stressed out right now that I could scream. Instead of making it better and dealing with the stress I'm just crying about it, which is really effective (note the sarcasm)

I'm heading off to bed now but here's the cliff notes.

1. I have a 35 page paper (strategic plan) and a 22 slide Power Point due on the 16th. I have not started. I have total writer's block on this, though I've done the research.

2. My new job...it's tough. Under the heading Foreign Military Sales Fire Scout Logistics is my name, with the words "Team Lead" next to it and no "team" to speak of. It's a great honor that they trust me, but they are highly misguided and I am not prepared for this job. If I do well (20% chance) I will really make a name for myself in the Navy. If I suck it up, well, I'll have other chances, but I'd really like to do well.

Ok, I'm going to bed. Pass out while crying is more like it.

Things on My Mind

This is the new Maroon 5 video. I was just talking to Mircea about how I didn't understand how they could still be riding the wave of a 4 year old cd, but I guess if they can they will. I can't stop staring at Adam Levine even though I think he is a total loser, but I just want to stare into his eyes all day long. I wish I didn't suffer from that affliction.

So we got the cats together last night. Let's just say it went a bazillion times worse than either of us ever expected. We both thought that the girls would be upset and that Fernie would be the ring leader of the fighting. Ha! We let Lily out of the cage and Stinky immediatly attacked her, chasing her behind the couch where she peed in fear. I hadn't even let Fern out of her cage yet when we were breaking up the fight (which you aren't supposed to do, but I was not about to let Lily get beat up by the Stinks). So the rest of the night we consoled Lily, who would hiss at Fernie as if it was her fault, and talked about what our options are if they don't get along. We really want to have a nice little cat family, and we're taking them all to the vet on Saturday so maybe they'll have some more insight. There are a ton of suggestions that we've read on the internet, and if anyone has other thoughts please let us know. I just hate seeing Stinky badger my sweet girls. Oh and Fernie-the one we thought would be the ringleader of all the fighting? She's been the sweetest little girl. She snuggles up next to us and tries to be nice to both Lily and Stinky, who are having none of it.

Ok, if anyone is still reading after all this cat talk, I have a question. I think I want to get rid of some of my (mother's) books, and I'm wondering how I should go about this. I was thinking of making a list of the books I'm really to get rid of, send it out to my friends and let them choose. For those that live far away, I'd give the books for free but charge for the shipping cost I have to pay. I could probably make some money at a garage sale, but I'd rather share with others. Thoughts?

I'm Home

I'll make this quick, but I wanted to let everyone know I made it back safe and sound. I got in so late on Thursday, it kind of sucked, but I had the best going away party EVER from my buddies at work. It was a mad rush, which I will describe later.

My phone doesn't work at Mircea's house nor mine, so that should be interesting. My new phone (only two more weeks!) should work at both houses, but Lord knows. The best part is it will have a screen so I can call people and know who the hell is calling me. That phone has been broken since I went to San Diego and you'd be surprised how much of a pain it is to not be able to screen calls or call people whose phone numbers you haven't memorized.

Ok, so I'm back and I'm in training all week so I won't have a bunch of email access or time to blog, but I hope everyone is doing well and I am SOOOOOO happy to be home.

And thank you to Marc for taking wonderful care of those beautiful kitties. I picked them up today and they were so sad to leave their Papa, but they are happy at my house and snuggled like crazy!!

It Worked?

There is a question mark after that. I am getting on the flight at 12 today and will get home around 8 as long as there isn't crazy weather (which there is). The big problem is that they were having a going away thingie for me today that doesn't start until 10, which is when I have to be at the airport. Oopsie!! I don't know how to remedy this and everyone is a little peeved but this goes back to why surprises aren't good. Bad bad surprises.

But I get to go home early, see my sweetie, see the puffy kitties, and that makes me happy. I had to do it. I just had to get home. (And I have a B ticket with Southwest which means I'll have to sit in the middle seat, but I'll deal!)

Talk to you all soon!!!