My New Year's Resolution

This year I am making a vow to myself, and to others. This is the last year I am making a resolution to lose weight and "get healthy". I have all the tools, all the support, etc., and I have let my laziness get the better of me. The main reason for my "last year of weight loss resolution" is that I am sick and tired of letting my confidence and self-worth be valued by my pants size. I've let that negative self talk convince me that I am insignificant and that my weight should embarass me and make me hide in my house (which I have done on occasion b/c I'm afraid of being in the company of others). So I vow to do two things; lose weight and stop beating myself up.

I am sure I will enjoy too many treats on the cruise, but I am greatly looking forward to returning to a healthier lifestyle. I have been following a vegetarian diet for the past 3 weeks in preparation for the cruise, and although cheese tastes like Heaven, I am really looking forward to return to MD a reborn Vegan. And although my knee is in no shape for running or even brisk walking, I look forward to a slow but steady return to the gym...a habit that I have let go over the years, but realize it is important. I want to be healthy darnit, and I want to fit in my old clothes-both of these things are important to me, but the healthy part is most important. I want to have kids (eventually, still need that ring, marriage, etc.) and figure now is the time to be healthy so I can be in good physical (and mental) health when it's time for childbearing.

I realize I'm ranting a bit, but I'm also asking for some help. I would like you, dear readers, to be my accountability partners. The way I will do this is with a once a week HONEST blog about the challenges, victories, etc of the weight loss, as well, GASP, my weight. Yeah, I will admit my real weight, and although it starts out a little embarassing, I am hoping that soon I will be proud of the changes I've made. So I thank you in advance. I'm done with this yo-yo b.s. I'm ready to enjoy my life- heavy, slim, healthy, active, etc. I want my life back, no more wallowing in chocolate.

Woo-Hoo It's Friday!

I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning! I'm in such a good mood and although my body aches like heck from the past two days with my PT Fred, I am feeling good and strong and invigorated. Mircea will be here in 6 short hours and we'll have a fun weekend. Next week marks the beginning of my office revamp, which is where myself and three others are on a weight loss regime and another guy is quitting smoking, so it will surely be bitchy in here. Looking forward to it though as I've been unsuccessful with weightloss since I got here, though I'm definitely stronger and more muscular, I'm still a fatty and I gained weight since I've been here. Whatever, one day at a time, you know?

No big plans for the weekend. We want to go see the sunset at Point Loma (the damn cliff blocks my sunset view from my room) and then finally trek around Balboa Park. It should be a good time.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend and that the weather is great for every body!

Dull Dull Life

Nothing new to report. I've been in boring meetings the last few days. I'm back in the office tomorrow, which should be fun since the boss moved my desk so he could spy on me. He's so weird. I'm a temporary employee at his office and he's so suspicious of me, always asking me if I have security, etc. It's really funny too since I've been with the Gov't for 3 years and have more security than he does and up until he got this promotion we were the same rank (and the guy's been here 20 years) He's super frustrating and I want to poke him in his bald head.

Ok, that's it. I have an appointment with my trainer today and I am not looking forward to it. I think I look pregnant. Actually, it's kind of "funny" as I've been doing the buns and abs exercises the muscles under my belly fat are getting bigger and sticking out my tire...and my bum is moving up and pushing up a tire, so I have this great little life raft around my belly-LOVELY!!

Hope everyone is having a good week!!

So Many Good Things...

First of all, the Indianapolis Colts won the Super Bowl, and that makes me happier than I've been in a long long time. I have loved the Colts since I moved to Indiana in 1992, and for once, it has truly paid off to be a fan. I can't wait to order more Colts merchanidise, though the prices skyrocketed overnight. Oh well!

School is going pretty well. I think this math class might actually put me over the edge. It is really funny-I read the chapter, look at the notes from the instructor and I have NO CLUE that they are talking about. We get to the homework and again, completely dumbfounded over the work. Fantastic! I just keep telling myself if I can get through this semester that I only have two left and I'm done done done! Mircea will be graduating school the same time I do and we've been hoping we'll be able to go on a cruise or something to celebrate. I'll be celebrating the "end of school forever" but he's only just begun. HA!!

Work is going pretty well too. I need to finalize my permenant position with the Navy when I return to PAX and that is sort of lowering my productivity here, but oh well.

As much as I hate any sort of fad diet (since I was so successful with straight diet and exercise) I'm on day two of the South Beach Diet. I really want to lose some quick weight so I look cute in my dress for when Mircea is here. Like it really matters, but still. I have my buns class today followed by the personal training session so I should be whipped into shape.

Gotta run to a meeting...

Getting Back on the Wagon

Well, actually, I don't want to rely on a wagon-my feet need to carry my chunky body around for a little while. Until its not chunky anymore.

I am back to fighting the battle of the bulge. Apparently (I must have read this somewhere) beer gives you a chubby belly and Romanian food isn't all that healthy. Well what the hell? I seem to be putting on weight exponentially and I'm not drinking beer nor am I partaking in any delicious schnitzel. I'm also not moving my fat ass all that much which is really killing me. I need to make these changes because I don't want to be a chunky monkey. I feel so much better about myself when I eat right and have an active lifestyle. I have been very stressed out with homework but I have to remember that food doesn't make my homework any easier. It doesn't even make sense, does it?

I know I made some personal goals just a few weeks ago, but I haven't been following them like I wanted to. I decided to make some more drastic choices and I signed up for three races in the next several weeks. At the very least I'll run 3 times in the next two months (I'm kidding!) I signed up for the following races: 5k Super Run , San Dieguito 5k & Half Marathon and St. Patrick's Day 10k. My running advisor figured I could probably run the 10k by St. Patty's day and I trust his opinion so its a go. I also started doing aerobics classes at the gym on base. They are only $2 a class for civilians (sure beats the $8 at home) so I took abs and buns yesterday (and they hurt!!) and I'll be doing classes every day during the week to get myself jump started back into shape. I know I need to start running again, its the reason I lost so much weight before, but I have such an aversion to it lately. I mean, I get heart burn and a headache just thinking about running...ridiculous!! I need to get over that b/c I'm still signed up for the marathon in October, so hopefully I can overcome my ridiculous fears and get back into shape.

Enough bitching. I'm going to go make my workout schedule and STICK TO IT! I want to look cute in a bathing suit...hell, I want to look decent in jeans and a t-shirt!