Two Movies = Too Many Tears

This picture reminds me of one too many Christmas photos at the Rowden-Weigand household. At least they didn't ask her to take the picture.

I woke up this morning (4 am) with a really sore throat and I couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to watch some movies that I've Tivo'd since I've been here. The first movie I watched was The Family Stone. This movie had been suggested to me several years ago by Marc's sister Carly (and her Mom) and I never got around to watching it. Patty mentioned a couple lines from it a few months ago and when I saw the opportunity to see it I Tivo'd it right away. This movie hit home big time. The movie is about this woman who is all uptight and not herself as she's trying to be perfect when she meets the family of her boyfriend. She's screwing everything up because she's so nervous and feels out of place. And the family is mostly treating her like crap, though she finds some reprieve in certain family members. Now I'm sure I'm going to piss off a couple people with this, but this movie reminded me so much of how Marc's family could treat me sometimes. I found reprieve from the nightmare of being judged when I was with Carly and Marc, but so often I felt that I was constantly being watched to see what I would do wrong and even being set up in certain situations (Marc's mom saying "you know, I always thought Marc should have ended up with Amber Crum" when I went up to the cottage with him one summer.) to act badly. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I know that Patty will appreciate my point of view here (since she suggested the movie). Someone does need to "love me best" and sometimes you just end up with someone who is great and wonderful but isn't "the one" for you, no matter how hard you try. So I guess I'm saying even though it wasn't cool, maybe his family could see all along that we weren't right for each other, but they neglected to see that it wasn't all my fault.

Warning: Description of a gay cowboy movie

The other movie I watched was Brokeback Mountain. Wow, that was heavy. 28 minutes into the movie when the love scene occurred I thought I might have to stop the movie. I don't have a problem with it, it just felt so uncomfortable because I really did feel like a voyeur. I don't know if I can really say that Brokeback was a "beautiful love story" because I had a lot of issues with the characters, especially Jack Twist. I mean, I guess you can love someone and still have sex with prostitutes in Mexico, or a torrid affair with another married farm hand, but I guess I tend to think that maybe you're just looking to have your sexual needs satisfied at this point. I don't know. First of all, it's a movie, but it's also not my place to judge any relationship, but I would have much rather enjoyed, for some odd reason, if they'd both had their wives and then had their love on the side. This next sentence is going to come across wrong but its out there...I guess if you're going to have a gay love affair with someone while you're still married I'd like to think that the gayness is monogomous (and the marriage too) Why do I think that? I don't know. But I do. Again, not my life, just a movie, and anyone can do whatever they want, but I also worried about AIDS. I didn't want Jack's philandering (gay or straight) to bring an STD into the relationship. Ok, now I'm just overworrying. The way Jack died was also terrible. Terrible terrible terrible and I hated it. Ok, no more of this. I'm crying again.

I feel like hell but I'm going to go do a little more of my midterm before heading to a party at my friend George's house. He's throwing a big "Back from Paris" party at his house today and who doesn't like a little wine and cheese? Hope everyone had a nice weekend.