Katey Pooh Out

I'm going to take a little break from blogs and email until I get back to Maryland. Both are only upsetting me and I don't feel like dealing with it! Just call me if you need something

I hope that everyone has a happy 4th of July. I'll be getting home in the early morning hours of the 4th, so I'll probably be hibernating until mid afternoon.

Everyone Loves My Posts So Much

I think I may have the most popular blog on the internet.

I've spent the morning reading a pretty unexciting book. The Rescue, by Nicholas Sparks. His books follow such a form, but I think we all love a little sappy, romantic book every once and awhile. The only thing about this book that is driving me bonkers is that there is a character with a speech problem-well, what he does is write what the person says "I love you" and then in parenthesis he writes (ee wuv ooo) which is driving me crazy. Absolutly crazy!!!

I think we are going to go to the pool today after Draigan's nap. That should be fun. I like going to the kid's pool, though it makes me rather melancholy about the life Marc and I had planned together.

Thank you

Thanks to all who have left comments. I will say, the only thing about your words that hurts is that NO ONE could leave well wishing comments on our other blog except for Karen and Tina. That makes me really sad and at the time Marc and I discussed that we didn't have a lot of support. He definitely has support now.

As for the comments left. They are much appreciated. I realize that this is a horrible situation and I don't know how else to work through it. Decrees have been made by our family on how to handle it, but those people can't do it for us. I haven't been home, with the exception of three nights, since Good Friday, and I haven't had the chance to speak privatly to Marc. Everyone thinks they know what happened-rumors fly, my words are interpreted, etc. Its a horrible situation and I'm sorry that my blog has become the new public forum. I was surprised to find that anyone reads it in the first place (I think you can understand that surprise!) and I'm sorry if I've offended anyone.

This is obviously a horrible situation and I would have liked to keep it private-I made a lot of mistakes and to those who think Marc never did, you are wrong...but that didn't warrant my behavior, and I've recognized that.

This site will continue to run. As I'm starting my marathon training next week (it should be this week but its much too hot in the desert) I will focus the site on running-as it had always been. I will not change this address as it is to my liking.

Thank you Paul, for the only comment that I could actually understand and relate to. Your words sting, but the truth is out there and the showboating nil.

Blog Cessation

I appreciate (ok, that's a lie) the desire for some "anonymous" people that I quit writing on my blog. I have a piece of advice for that...please quit reading it. This is mine to with what I wish. You don't need to check it, you don't need to see. If you want updates from me about my life, certainly feel free to email me and request them.

Again, this is my space to do with what I wish. I apologize if it bothers anyone but as with anything on the internet-you have to type in the address to see it. So stop typing in this address.

Thanks!!

Wow Wow Wow

The chick at the salon totally messed up my nails. I would love to take pictures of them but they are so lame...oh my gosh. So she's like "ok, let's do the pedicure" and I was like "you know, I think I might just not do it because of the running." My nails are all jagged and crooked. I can't believe I paid her. I gave her a $5 tip, simply because she didn't give me change and I was too lazy to ask for it. I guess that's my own fault. I do have really soft hands though!!

You Say Its My Birthday

Yesterday was my 26th birthday and I had a great time with Lindsay and Draigan. We drove to L.A. for the day and experienced a fun day of L.A. shopping. I didn't like it there-it was dirty. It was like "yucky San Diego" to me. I had fun and definitely liked a little retail therapy, but the people were sort of rude, the streets were dirty and frankly, the beach was the scariest I'd been to. I told Linds that I was a beach snob now because the beaches I went to in Florida were just beautiful white sand-not dirty dirty like the ones in Santa Monica.

All in all I had a great time. Draigan was hilarious at the beach, I can't even describe in words how funny he was. I also got birthday calls and then cards sent to Lindsay's house and those were all sweet and wonderful and much appreciated. Its so great to have friends!!

Well, Lindsay is getting a haircut today and I'm getting a manicure. I was orginially going to get a pedicure too, but since I'm starting the marathon training I'm pretty sure it will get ruined in the first long run (Saturday) so I'm not going to waste the money. Here's to 4 months of crappy toes!!

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends

Keeping for Posterity

I thought that was a pretty funny title for this post, and its a funny title for a Fallout Boy song as well. I would say its my favorite of their crazily named songs.

I'm writing this based on a conversation I had with Lindsay yesterday. I really need to take a look at who my "friends" are and assess whether or not these are people that I should be depending on in my life. While I was in Florida, I made a lot of "friends". I trusted these people with my insecurities about getting married, I asked advice about my entire life plan, and now I'm realizing just how stupid I am for doing so. Its not that these people gave me bad advice, its that I shouldn't have put as much stock in it as I did. Why did I believe a couple of guys that I had met two months before instead of believing the man that I had known for ten years and was going to spend the rest of my life with? Why did I think that they knew how Marc felt about me and how we both should treat each other? There is definitely something to be said about having a "neutral third party" provide some guidance into your life, but my third party was hardly neutral. A bunch of sophmorish guys giving me opinions on life and love when only three had ever been married (and weren't doing so hot with that either!) was something I took better stock in then a.) calling Marc and getting more information from him, b.) calling my real friends and getting opinions from them, or c.) sitting on my own ass and addressing each of these issues on my own. How stupid am I? I'm so incredibly pissed at myself for not making a decision based on empirical evidence-I took a wild-ass-guess and just went for it with help from people that didn't know jack crap about my situation. Wow, I am just a damned genious!
So I guess I'm writing this to come to terms with my own actions as far as letting myself be lead off the cliff like a lemming. I need to make decisions for myself (something that has rarely been a strength for me) and trust my gut feeling. I can honestly say, and I hope that Marc someday reads this and feels a tiny bit of satisfaction...it wasn't that I thought that we shouldn't be married to each other and that you didn't love me, I thought that other people might be correct when they suggested to me that we might not be right for each other, and I didn't have the wisdom to know in my heart that they were completely wrong. I threw away all that was important to me because I respected the opinions of new "friends" instead of remembering and being warmed by the words and actions of my best friend Marc. I need to remember that proximity does not equal quality in friendship. In fact, it may even suggest that you're only friends because it is convenient...

I think that I might sound a little bitter to the sham friends. These are still people that I had a great time with and honestly hope that we become "real friends" after time as we build stronger relationships. I'd always hated the phrase "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold". I always found it demeaning to new friends, you were punishing them for knowing you for less time. I look at it now that you are cherishing the ones that have stayed with you through the years and became a part of your soul. I'm sorry Marc that I didn't cherish how golden our friendship really is. Despite all the wedding stuff, that doesn't even matter, the fact that I didn't trust your friendship over a bunch of strangers-that just shames me.

So I guess I'm your sham friend.

Some Pictures to Share

I was looking through some of the AMO school pictures and found a couple that made me laugh. I thought I'd share.


This is me, and my friends Lainie and Christina at our disasterous karaoke night. The highlight of the evening was "head, shoulders, knees and toes (knees and toes)."







This picture cracks me up. I especially like that Bill is exposing a nipple. Too too funny.

Joshua Tree National Park

Yesterday I went to Joshua Tree National Park with my friend Sean. It was pretty cool and as we did it on a whim, neither of us had a real camera to capture our "bouldering" which is apparently different then rock climbing, though the outcome (me huddle on a rock crying that I'm not ready to come down) is probably the same in either instance. While we were out we saw several rattlesnakes (one was very scary since it was near us on the path), many different lizards, jackrabbits (who don't care if you're barreling towards them, they were there first), a roadrunner, desert chipmunks, and my favorite, Big Horned sheep. The sheep were so cool because they were on the top of this big rock way above us and I couldn't even begin to understand how they got up there. Sean and I were staring up at them and the sheep were staring down at us and we were laughing that they were probably like "look at the two of them down there. They are so graceful in this environment. Look how they walk on two legs...they are just amazing." I guess it was funnier if you were really dehydrated but we had a blast. Its the most fun I've had doing activities I hate in a long time. I was pretty proud of myself too, I certainly wasn't dressed for the excursion. Luckily I'd worn my Teva sandals and was able to do the "bouldering" with little problem. A couple of times, Sean would just sort of make crazy jumps and I'd explain that just a thin strip of velcro was all that was holding me on particular rock. Hooray for Tevas!

Hopefully all of you will find the humor in the above picture. We drove past this rattlesnake and then backed up to get a closer view. It was rattling and angry. Then it stopped. And apparently we thought throwing change in its general direction would cause it to react in someway. (We did not try to hit it, but I do regret throwing money at an animal) It didn't but I think in the end the snake won because it got 37 cents out of us. I didn't like littering, but it really didn't seem appropriate to try to get the money back while it was around the snake. It was scary!!

Ok, that's all I have to report. It was a really fun day and I was sorry it had to end. I wanted to stay and go camping, but I figured we'd probably need some form of shelter so our rattlesnake friend didn't plot revenge. No such luck so we called it a night. I most likely would have died of fright out there anyway, considering I'm scared of my own shadow, but it was a nice thought.

Knock Knock

Who's there?
Pants
Pants who?
Just pants


This is one of the best jokes I've heard this whole trip. Draigan and I are having a good time with our jokes. Another joke we have is...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Barking Spiders
Barking Spiders who?
Just barking spiders

For those who are unfamiliar with barking spiders, Marc taught me that as a joke for breaking wind when he was a kid. Wish I hadn't taught that to a four year old.